Do you know how much it costs to have RotoRooter come to your house on a Monday night to spend 20 minutes snaking your sink?  $266 American dollar bills. Pipes and plumbing and water are so dumb. Why can’t we go back to a simpler time when people would get their water from a well or a river or whatever and maybe contract dysentery but never have to deal with plumbers who charge outrageous amounts of money.  Also, money is dumb.  I think we need to just barter and trade …

I spend every Wednesday night at my parents house having dinner and trying to keep my dad from lifting things he’s not allowed to, like that pillow top mattress and that refrigerator.  I bring Gus along to distract him because there’s nothing to help you forget about dragging trunks of old ephemera from the attic like an eight pound dog with a giant caterpillar dangling from his lips.
After dinner this past Wednesday, my mom and I left my dad and Gus to bond over whatever boys bond over, probably scars, …

[photo via]
Blue footed boobies, to be exact.
According to our friends at wikipedia:
The name “booby” comes from the Spanish term bobo, which means “Stupid”. This is because the Blue-footed Booby is clumsy on the land. Like other seabirds, they can be very tame.
The courtship of the Blue-footed Booby consists of the male flaunting his blue feet and dancing to impress the female. During the dance, the male will spread his wings and stamp his feet on the ground.
The males of the species have been known to throw up their head and …