When we first started dating, I would spend hours writing you emails and notes and thinking of all the ways I could impress you.  It was so easy then, to spend days at a time thinking of nothing but you, talking to you on the phone until you literally fell asleep and I had to yell to wake you up, only to talk some more and you’d fall asleep all over again.  I always did know I talked too much – and never have developed that piece of myself that …

Janie has been going to therapy for the last few weeks because she has contracted the crazy.  Don’t tell her I said that because she thinks she’s going to therapy because of me but she is wrong.  SHE IS WRONG!  Last week her therapist made her role play and have a conversation with her fourth grade self and she giggled uncontrollably and then died of embarrassment.  I had to remind her that everyone would giggle and feel embarrassed talking to their fourth grade selves because what the hell were you …

This is Rutherford B. Hayes and his wife on their wedding day.  Gosh, Janie…this reminds me so much of us.  Look at the indifference on their faces…the take ir or leave it-ness.  It is like they could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.  Just like you and me.  And like those two, I’m unmoved by our totally generic love for one another.  I think you’re really, really average and I’m looking forward to at least 2-2/3 more years of garden-variety marriage before we fall …

This has been a weird week. Awkward. I don’t like it, but I’m sure it is what it is for some reason or another. Lessons learned or some bullshit like that. I don’t know.
Life is hard! Relationships are messy. Sometimes I just run out of things to say. Feelings. All that. I usually have a lot of feelings, which is why I cry at stupid things like yogurt commercials and that documentary about the Great Wall of China. But this …

2.7.9
When Lady Gay A says to Lady Gay B that being a sexpert is difficult because they are always thinking about how to spice things up in the bedroom, Lady Gay A shall not reply sarcastically that it is a good thing Lady Gay B is not a sexpert. In addition, Lady Gay B shall not laugh out loud repeatedly after Lady Gay A expresses her upset and insists that Lady Gay B admit Lady Gay A is a sexual sensation. If Lady Gay B keeps it up, Lady …