Janie has been going to therapy for the last few weeks because she has contracted the crazy.  Don’t tell her I said that because she thinks she’s going to therapy because of me but she is wrong.  SHE IS WRONG!  Last week her therapist made her role play and have a conversation with her fourth grade self and she giggled uncontrollably and then died of embarrassment.  I had to remind her that everyone would giggle and feel embarrassed talking to their fourth grade selves because what the hell were you …

This is Rutherford B. Hayes and his wife on their wedding day.  Gosh, Janie…this reminds me so much of us.  Look at the indifference on their faces…the take ir or leave it-ness.  It is like they could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.  Just like you and me.  And like those two, I’m unmoved by our totally generic love for one another.  I think you’re really, really average and I’m looking forward to at least 2-2/3 more years of garden-variety marriage before we fall …

This has been a weird week. Awkward. I don’t like it, but I’m sure it is what it is for some reason or another. Lessons learned or some bullshit like that. I don’t know.
Life is hard! Relationships are messy. Sometimes I just run out of things to say. Feelings. All that. I usually have a lot of feelings, which is why I cry at stupid things like yogurt commercials and that documentary about the Great Wall of China. But this …

2.7.9
When Lady Gay A says to Lady Gay B that being a sexpert is difficult because they are always thinking about how to spice things up in the bedroom, Lady Gay A shall not reply sarcastically that it is a good thing Lady Gay B is not a sexpert. In addition, Lady Gay B shall not laugh out loud repeatedly after Lady Gay A expresses her upset and insists that Lady Gay B admit Lady Gay A is a sexual sensation. If Lady Gay B keeps it up, Lady …

I spent Friday evening at the vet with our cat Ducati.  I’m thinking I should start a vet tally for each of our pets down below so we can all see what astronomical figures we are paying to keep these four assholes alive.  The I’m going to add up all the numbers and sit down with each of them to discuss a reduction in force, because these are tough economic times and while we have done our best to keep things at the status quo, it has come time to …