Further suggestions welcome in the comments…

Do you know how much it costs to have RotoRooter come to your house on a Monday night to spend 20 minutes snaking your sink?  $266 American dollar bills. Pipes and plumbing and water are so dumb. Why can’t we go back to a simpler time when people would get their water from a well or a river or whatever and maybe contract dysentery but never have to deal with plumbers who charge outrageous amounts of money.  Also, money is dumb.  I think we need to just barter and trade …

PLUS

EQUALS

Posting will resume tomorrow.  Happy 2010 to everyone.  2009 was a real bullshit, but I have a good feeling about 2010.  We’re gonna really work it this year, friends.

Later, when I’ve had a few too many egg nogs, maybe I’ll come back here and sing the new song that I just made up for Janie called Christmas Fetus.

I’ve been struggling with what to say about our Cookie Baking Day because, for the first time ever, there was no crying or swearing or arguing of any kind. In fact, the only mishap was when I accidentally quadrupled a recipe that I had only meant to double. While it was a recipe that is a family favorite and we’re all glad to have as many of those cookies as possible, it used up the rest of the eggs and butter and it wasn’t even past noon. …