I Love You... Love-Fire

Cassie and I met as casual friends, and by casual friends I mean we met specifically to sleep together casually, without attachments.  Because that’s how I do (that’s not really how I do.  I know that now). Everyone who I mentioned this meeting to said the same things – Oh.  That’s going to end horribly. [&hellip

Rambling Feelings

I grew up in a family that wasn’t particularly expressive.  There weren’t that many hugs or deep discussions about our feelings, nor were there moments where we sat and talked about our dreams for the future.  It wasn’t a space where we were encouraged to be creative or whimsical.  My memories of growing up are [&hellip

Gasping for Air Forest_fire_incinerated_ridge_Colorado_DP512

I woke up this morning disappointed. Disappointed to be present, conscious and aware. I’m aware of everything I’ve ever lost. I’m conscious of every bit of hurt I’ve ever experienced, as it culminates into one moment – one giant swirling hurricane of pain, hopelessness and despair. I’m present, to watch my life disappear before my [&hellip

Update: Repulsed broken

I’m so disgusted by myself right now. I’ve tried a million times over to write, but it’s all self-pitying bullshit. I’m in an ugly space and I’m struggling and it’s gross and I hate it. &nbsp

Protect Me From... broken

For months I was alone in my own darkness.  I had slipped into something so impenetrably dense that I didn’t know I could even move, let alone escape it.  I feared I was irreparably damaged – my heart annihilated and life hopelessly sad.  I would sit alone for hours, in quiet despair, too tired and ashamed to look for [&hellip

Tuesday writing

My friend Kim and I have been meeting every Tuesday (when possible – sometimes not at all, other weeks on different days, depending on schedules.  We do what we can when we can, get off my back!) at a coffee shop where we attempt writing.  Sometimes we spend several minutes to an hour of our [&hellip

Moving On divorce-mallet

I have divorce on the brain. On the 24th, Janie and I had a court date to finalize the dissolution of our partnership.  Three months ago I finally got around to filing the papers to get this process rolling, postponing the inevitable out of laziness or disinterest, and I am proud to say that we [&hellip

Day One lipkisseslarge

It’s been so long since I’ve sat in front of the computer really trying to write.  It feels almost like I’ve forgotten how this works…what my creative process looks like.  It’s going to take me a while to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing here now.  Ever the impatient one, I’m already frustrated [&hellip

Hopped up on... pills

When I landed in Seattle after coming home from vacation, I quite literally burst into tears and cried.  I could not control myself.  I could not calm myself down.  What I know now is that I was absolutely exhausted, not from travel, but from spending every minute of every day for months just trying to [&hellip

I Don’t Know depression

I’m having a hard time.  Mostly I just don’t know what the hell I am doing. It’s funny how you carry around all this baggage from place to place – one relationship or experience to another.  And sometimes you think you’ve let it go and then life comes in and BAM, it slaps you in [&hellip