Well, NaBloPoMo was a rousing failure but I’m still here and I’m going to talk about Portland, crabs, ants and my armpit.
My armpit hurts, you guys.  It feels like it is going to just fall right out from between my arm and whatever the rest of that junk is called – my body, I guess. Pray for me…that my pit will remain and the soreness is not some awful form of cancer wished upon me by my enemies.
On Sunday I returned from a small vacation spent down in Portland with …

Gus has a main lady in his life named Lucy, a chihuahua half his size who humps the holy hell out of him at every opportunity.

Lucy was born on March 25th, 2008 to her parents Blue Diamond and Henry.

Valerie says she is just like her mother in that she is both sweet and bossy, and while I’m sure she was talking about her biological mother, I’d say Lucy is also a lot like her people mother in that she is sweet and she doesn’t like it when you take her …

I can’t stop watching television.
Specifically, I can’t stop watching HGTV.
More specifically, there is a House Hunters International marathon on and Valerie and I can’t turn it off.
We’re sitting in bed, FULLY CLOTHED and NOT TOUCHING, watching television and eating tiny oranges.
She’s yelling at the guy looking for a home in Tokyo because he asks stupid questions.  She just called him a fucking idiot and said she wants to poke him in the eye.
Now there’s a cranberry commercial talking about urinary tract infections.
THIS IS THE LIFE.
Tomorrow we discuss Las Vegas.  Probably.  …

Tonight I spent the evening whacking balls at the driving range with my friends Kim and Jill, giving myself a fat blister on my finger and possibly giving myself some crazy new form of sudden onset arthritis because that’s how I roll.  Now It’s 1145pm and I’m running out of time.  I was going to tell you all about my super fun trip to Las Vegas in September with Valerie where we swam, ate, shopped, gambled, walked and took a late night trip to the ER.  I guess it’ll have …

I had more ideas for writing today.  I’m going to have to do better at making time every day to sit and write something worthwhile.  Also, I just got sucked into some show on HGTV called Property Brothers and I can’t talk right now because this bitchy couple is making me nuts and I need to yell at the TV for a little while.  More effort and better planning tomorrow.
Peace out.