Whatever!

Janie and I just returned from seeing KT Tunstall at the Showbox SODO, so it was worth it.  The show was awesome.

Here are a few of my favorite KT Tunstall songs for your perusal.  Let them entertain you until I get my shit together for another post, very soon.  A real one of substance.  Swear it.  Probably.

This one made me cry. Of course it did.

One of Janie’s Favorites:

My friend Alyssa and I were scheduled to go to the concert together.  In fact, the only other time I saw Terri in concert was with her.  I’m pretty sure it was with her.  But I could be making that up because it was a very long time ago.  If it wasn’t her I don’t know who it was but whatever.  We’re talking about Terri Clark, not anyone else and certainly not who I may or may not have been dating but can’t remember.  ANYHOW, Alyssa and I had a date to see Terri Clark together again or for the first time.  As the date came ever closer I posted messages to her Facebook page to remind her, such as

and

Unfortunately, something came up at the last minute and we couldn’t work it out to go together so I forced my sister to go in her place which was nice for me, because I like my sister and I think she’s fun, but bad for her because she was going to have to witness something no sister should ever have to witness.  And by that I mean she was going to have to watch me kidnap Terri Clark and convince her to take her shirt off and make me a sandwich.

She played a very long, amazing solo acoustic set which included all of my favorite songs and afterward I stood in line with my sister, waiting to meet her and discuss our future plans and living arrangements.  As we got closer I started to get nervous and I told Jennifer we didn’t need to stay.  We could go.  It would be okay with me if we left. I started to panic.  PANIC!  And Jennifer looked me in the eye and said I DID NOT JUST SIT THROUGH THREE HOURS OF COUNTRY MUSIC SO YOU COULD NOT MEET TERRI CLARK AND GET HER TO SIGN THAT FUCKING PICTURE.  Maybe there were no swears, but I don’t think so.  She doesn’t like country music, that one.  Also, she has pregnancy rage.

After several minutes I got to the front of the line, looked up at her, smiled like a jackass and said hello to one of the the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my entire life.  She said hello and then asked what my name was.  It was magical, until I became too retarded to speak, so I just stood there and giggled to myself on the inside like that crazy cashier lady from the drug store by my house.  She signed the picture, PUT HER ARM AROUND ME and I did the same to her, like two old gays who have loved one another from afar for many many many years, and we smiled as my sister took a photo.  I whispered a thank you, because if I didn’t whisper it I’d not otherwise have been able to contain myself or control the volume of my voice or the words coming out and it likely would have ended with me screaming I LOVE YOU TERRI CLARK AND I’LL BE WAITING FOR YOU TO COME HOME. DON’T BE LATE I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY FOR WORK TOMORROW. I LIKE TURKEY ON MY SANDWICH, PLEASE, AND REMEMBER TO HOLD THE MAYO as they dragged me away to the police cruiser.

As we walked to the car, I showed my sister the photo and noted that it says “To Linsey, LOVE Terri Clark.”  LOVE.  I feel pretty certain that means we’re married.  It’s a legally binding contract, that signed photo. She’s obligated to love me for the rest of her natural life.  We’re going to be together forever and live in Canada where we can get married and she’ll sing me to sleep every night.  It is going to be so beautiful, especially when she stops trying to break out of her chains and run to the police.

I’m on a tear, people.  I’m deleting the shit out of every superfluous thing in my life.  Facebook (temporarily), Anonymous blogs (OH, YOU DIDN’T KNOW?  HAHAHA…well, too bad.  DELETED!), furniture, emails, photos, Tumblr blogs, therapy! cats!, Anonymous twitter accounts (OH, YOU DIDN’T KNOW?  HAHAHA…well, too bad.  DELETED!), text messages, music and people I don’t like.  Are you one of them?  MAYBE (probably not)!

I’ve contemplated deleting this blog.  Over and over and over and over…and over.  Not today, though.  No.  I’m going to take some time to get my head on straight because, I’ll be honest, it isn’t.  I’m being slightly irrational.  I’ve gone a little bit fucking nuts.  Who stops going to therapy when they’re in the middle of going insane?   CRAZY PEOPLES.  ME.  HI! But my mom said she can do the same job for free so, you know, here’s hoping!

Anyhow, I’ll be back soon with more ramblings and whatever, but I’m currently in the middle of a shitstorm of drama, obviously, and I’m not quite myself.  Clearly.  But I have some good people who are giving me great advice and support and who tell me I’m pretty, which is nice and comforting.  So don’t worry.  Everything is going to be okay. Someone finally said that to me yesterday and gave me a good, tight hug and there are few things I needed more than just that.

Back sometime around mid-to-late July and then we’ll fuck some shit up again.  Better than ever, or, you know, at least the same sub-par entertainment you’ve always gotten here.  Sure.  Why not?

While I’m away, you should listen to these songs:

Fembot – Robyn

No More Drama – Mary J. Blige

Beauty In The World – Macy Gray

Soldier of Love – Sade

The Trapeze Swinger – Iron & Wine

It’s Amazing – Jem

★★★★★

If you’re interested in what I’m doing while I’m out in the world, losing my shit, I’ll tweet like a motherfucker until I go even more crazy and delete that, too.  EXCELLENT.

( Thanks, Jennifer :* )

I was writing all about it, but then I deleted it accidentally because I’m very tired. It took us THREE HOURS to get home after the show and TWO HOURS of that time was spent trying to get out of the PARKING LOT. I probably would have just slept in the car for several hours instead of inching forward minute by minute, but it was a Sunday night and I needed to be at work in the morning and don’t any of you have to work in the morning, too? NOW SCOOT! We got home at about 215am but then the cats peed THREE TIMES outside of the litter box and we had to clean it up and douse it in gasoline and set the house on fire because I give up.

The concert was awesome. Gwen Stefani remains one of the few singers who can actually sing live as well as, if not better than, on the recorded album (I’m looking at you, Katy Perry, you bum!). Also, I met up briefly with someone I haven’t seen since high school, who I have otherwise known since I was six years old. We reconnected on Facebook recently and when Janie kept forgetting who she was in relation to my youth, I had to remind her, “She’s the one who pushed me down the stairs – twice.”

★

Pretty soon I’m going to tell you all about our Las Vegas trip…but it’s taking me longer to piece it together and not at all because of the football sized-drink made of Everclear and Delicious that we shared that one night at the La Bayou casino where Janie broke the slot machine when she tried to cash out her $11.00 in nickels.