Anyone who stops in the middle of a sidewalk, aisle, other walkway, completely oblivious to the people behind or around them. MOVE TO THE SIDE, ASSHOLE.
People who do not give a courtesy wave after I let them cut in front of me in traffic.
Yeah, you. You know who you are.
People who steal other people’s stuff. Stuff they worked hard for while these thieves fucked around and decided the only skill they had was to steal shit that doesn’t belong to them.
People who dally in the crosswalk.
People who get up to …

Inspired by XUP.

Been legally married
Traveled to a third world country
Donated to a politician
Bought a brand new car
Gotten into a fistfight
Won money in Vegas and not turned right around to lose it all
Made a soufflé
Broken a bone that required me to wear a cast
Had “the relations” with a gentleman
Memorized all the words to the Act of Contrition (TAKE THAT, Catholic Church!)
Lit a cat on fire
Read War and Peace
Watched Casablanca or Citizen Kane or Gone with the Wind
Appreciated the subtle aroma of a litter box
Enjoyed chocolate cake or any cake with a …

★

When I send her emails with links and later ask if she read them, she sometimes says yes, but when I ask her questions or start a discussion about the content, it becomes quite clear that maybe she just read the title or the first line or looked at the picture or said to her work friends, “Look, another email from Linsey. Watch me delete it without even opening it.”
Scissor toes
She works in a library, so when she calls me from work, she speaks in hushed tones which, coupled …

Writing
Pulling my pants down
Shifting into “park”
Using a fork
Playing PlayStation
Using the restroom
Stapling things
Turning the key in the ignition
Opening mail
Pushing Janie down

Sprained Wrist

Below are the answers to my iPod shuffle/song lyric quiz.
Thanks for playing!

Material Girl, Madonna
Building a Mystery, Sarah McLachlan
Space Dog, Tori Amos
Chapel of Love, Bette Midler
Sally’s Pigeons, Cyndi Lauper
Sweet Jane, Cowboy Junkies
Tusk, Fleetwood Mac
Daughter, Pearl Jam
Buttermilk Biscuits, Sir Mix-A Lot

9 to 5, Dolly Parton
I Love Rock & Roll, Joan Jett
Private Dancer, Tina Turner
Terrible Lie, Nine Inch Nails
Poo, Poor, Pitiful Me, Terri Clark
Big Poppa, Notorious B.I.G.