It’s that time, friends!  It’s Christmas and if you’re like me, you have four more days of shopping and still no idea of what to get anyone on your list.  So, with that in mind, I’ve done us all a favor and scoured the entirety of the Internet to offer up some of the best gifts available.  You’re sure to find something for that special someone, and by special someone I mean, of course, me.
1. Morrissey Finger Puppet and Mic Stand

2010 has been a tough year and when the chips …

Jobs I might have worked
Customer service associate
Babysitter
Executive Assistant
Kanye West
Prison Guard
Chat room monitor
Rapper
Wrapper
Stagecoach Driver
Day care helper
Tina Fey
Jobs I might not have worked

Waitress
Actress
Formula One Driver
Neurosurgeon
President
Attorney
Mail Carrier
Shark
Lifeguard

★

Name our (male) dog Angel
Change my name to Samantha so people would refer to me as Sam, like Alyssa Milano’s character on Who’s The Boss
Become a neurosurgeon
Go to Stanford University
Play on the USA Women’s World Cup soccer team
Have a job that involved carrying a brief case and stamping things
Win that newspaper recycling contest
Live in an apartment above a store
Skip church and sit in the Sears parking lot eating Winchell’s donuts
Smoke a cigarette
Drink a beer
Wear a pigtail on the side of my head, like Chrissy from Three’s Company
Visit Africa, especially Tanzania …

So, this morning a local radio station was interviewing Joan Cusack when one of the women mentioned that the number one on her top five of all time make-out list is John Cusack.  This got me to thinking about my special list, and so here it is, for your viewing pleasure.
The top five people of note that I would like to have make me a sandwich.  Without a shirt on.

Terri Clark
Salma Hayek
Xena: Warrior Princess
Antonia and Stephanie of Top Chef Season 4 (they would need to make that sandwich together)
Jennifer Beals

Alternate: …

I’m keeping this as proof that Armageddon is coming.

Bank robbery downtown, possible bomb
Bank robbery in Wedgewood
Shooting in the Central District
Car prowler evading police runs onto freeway and gets hit by a car
Bicyclist run over by a van and killed in Ballard
Seattle police are called to capture a runaway puppy in a park
Seattle police rescue a wandering goat
A man was arrested on Capitol Hill for firing a high powered air rifle from his third floor balcony
Some men robbed a store on Capitol Hill
Three soldiers arrested in a rash of robberies near …