Jobs I might have worked
Customer service associate
Babysitter
Executive Assistant
Kanye West
Prison Guard
Chat room monitor
Rapper
Wrapper
Stagecoach Driver
Day care helper
Tina Fey
Jobs I might not have worked

Waitress
Actress
Formula One Driver
Neurosurgeon
President
Attorney
Mail Carrier
Shark
Lifeguard

★

Name our (male) dog Angel
Change my name to Samantha so people would refer to me as Sam, like Alyssa Milano’s character on Who’s The Boss
Become a neurosurgeon
Go to Stanford University
Play on the USA Women’s World Cup soccer team
Have a job that involved carrying a brief case and stamping things
Win that newspaper recycling contest
Live in an apartment above a store
Skip church and sit in the Sears parking lot eating Winchell’s donuts
Smoke a cigarette
Drink a beer
Wear a pigtail on the side of my head, like Chrissy from Three’s Company
Visit Africa, especially Tanzania …

So, this morning a local radio station was interviewing Joan Cusack when one of the women mentioned that the number one on her top five of all time make-out list is John Cusack.  This got me to thinking about my special list, and so here it is, for your viewing pleasure.
The top five people of note that I would like to have make me a sandwich.  Without a shirt on.

Terri Clark
Salma Hayek
Xena: Warrior Princess
Antonia and Stephanie of Top Chef Season 4 (they would need to make that sandwich together)
Jennifer Beals

Alternate: …

I’m keeping this as proof that Armageddon is coming.

Bank robbery downtown, possible bomb
Bank robbery in Wedgewood
Shooting in the Central District
Car prowler evading police runs onto freeway and gets hit by a car
Bicyclist run over by a van and killed in Ballard
Seattle police are called to capture a runaway puppy in a park
Seattle police rescue a wandering goat
A man was arrested on Capitol Hill for firing a high powered air rifle from his third floor balcony
Some men robbed a store on Capitol Hill
Three soldiers arrested in a rash of robberies near …

Anyone who stops in the middle of a sidewalk, aisle, other walkway, completely oblivious to the people behind or around them. MOVE TO THE SIDE, ASSHOLE.
People who do not give a courtesy wave after I let them cut in front of me in traffic.
Yeah, you. You know who you are.
People who steal other people’s stuff. Stuff they worked hard for while these thieves fucked around and decided the only skill they had was to steal shit that doesn’t belong to them.
People who dally in the crosswalk.
People who get up to …