Oh, oops! I touched your anus. Sorry ’bout that… I’m really sorry about that.

Carson is Harlow’s sister. She is affectionately known as Carson Carson or Missy Miss. She looks like she swallowed a basketball and sounds like she is on a regular diet of Marlboro reds and cheap whiskey. She is always hungry and always thirsty, but she doesn’t want anything other than her special diet cat food and water from that one faucet.

Carson’s hobbies include peeing outside of her box when she’s upset, ruining good furniture, scratching the carpet, pretending like we didn’t feed her five minutes ago, Interneting, …

It has been some time since I’ve written you back and so I thought I’d post my response here, on the Internet, for all to see my shame at being a terrible corresponder. My friend Kristiina called me on Valentine’s Day and I promised to call her back. I’m still planning on it. I have a note somewhere to remind me. I just get behind on account of the working and the sleeping and the video games. I’m sorry about the late reply, that’s all …

Our cat Carson mysteriously contracted worms. She doesn’t eat rodents, doesn’t have fleas and never goes outside or has physical contact with animals who do, so it’s a mystery as to where she got them. Super-fun! But not as fun as trying to find a way to deliver three pills worth of medication to a cat with razor-sharp claws and a bad attitude. It involved a bathtub, turkey baby food and a syringe. Discovered it’s possible for a cat to growl and say “nom nom nom …

Unwelcome Visitor from Linsey T on Vimeo.