Oh, you guys. GOD DAMN. I hate painting. We’re getting the condo all ready to list and it’s paint paint paint all the time and in between we do yard work, cry because a) this is depressing or b)  one of us just had a giant glob of paint drip onto their eyeball, we move a 300 pound television down two flights of stairs and then purchase, paint and attempt to install new closet doors that end up being the wrong size and are non-returnable because we …

In Plato’s Symposium, Aristophanes told the story of the origin of love.  According to the speech:
Long ago humans were of three sexes.  Those of the sun were male-male beings stuck back to back.  Those of the earth were female-female beings stuck back to back.  Those of the moon were male-female beings stuck back to back.  They each had two heads with two faces, four arms and four legs.  At one point they tried to scale the heavens and attack the gods.  The gods feared their strength and debated whether or …

1. Do not make it more complicated than it has to be.  By this I mean DO NOT MAKE IT MORE COMPLICATED.
2. When you chip out those tiles in the bathroom shower stall, don’t wait two years to fix it because when you get divorced and you have to sell your home it will only make it more stressful to deal with these kinds of repairs and by stressful, I mean expensive and by expensive, I mean it will cost more money than you have and it will MAKE THINGS …

Ending a relationship is the most insanely complicated experience I can ever imagine.  I work in a law office and there are an abundance of rules and regulations and codes and laws to weave through and yet it is still less complicated than finding your way through the end of a long-term relationship.  Seriously.  This is a bullshit.
First things first.  Janie and I are doing really well, all things considered.  We’re broken and sad and lost but managing to find our way through to something good.  We’re getting along.  We’re …

I spent Friday evening at the vet with our cat Ducati.  I’m thinking I should start a vet tally for each of our pets down below so we can all see what astronomical figures we are paying to keep these four assholes alive.  The I’m going to add up all the numbers and sit down with each of them to discuss a reduction in force, because these are tough economic times and while we have done our best to keep things at the status quo, it has come time to …