I Love You... Love-Fire

Cassie and I met as casual friends, and by casual friends I mean we met specifically to sleep together casually, without attachments.  Because that’s how I do (that’s not really how I do.  I know that now). Everyone who I mentioned this meeting to said the same things – Oh.  That’s going to end horribly. [&hellip

Rambling Feelings

I grew up in a family that wasn’t particularly expressive.  There weren’t that many hugs or deep discussions about our feelings, nor were there moments where we sat and talked about our dreams for the future.  It wasn’t a space where we were encouraged to be creative or whimsical.  My memories of growing up are [&hellip

Process puzzle

I’ve developed a process for myself when I’m feeling like life and my mind have lost control.  Where I start is focusing inward – what am I missing or what do I need?  What I do then, is research.  I read books on science and spirituality, philosophy and memoirs.  I write quotes in notebooks and [&hellip

Restart journey

It’s day one of National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) and I’m trying to use it as a tool to dedicate myself to writing again.  Writing has always been how I express myself, work out the toughness inside of me, settle some confusion and look deeper inside to pull out answers I’m seeking.  I’ve made so [&hellip

Gasping for Air Forest_fire_incinerated_ridge_Colorado_DP512

I woke up this morning disappointed. Disappointed to be present, conscious and aware. I’m aware of everything I’ve ever lost. I’m conscious of every bit of hurt I’ve ever experienced, as it culminates into one moment – one giant swirling hurricane of pain, hopelessness and despair. I’m present, to watch my life disappear before my [&hellip

Purpose road trip

I’ve often felt like I’m not living up to my potential.  I think I’m supposed to die knowing that the world was given so much of my heart that there is nothing left – the sides scraped clean.  I think my existence in this world, my purpose, is to find the cracks all around and fill them [&hellip

Update: Repulsed broken

I’m so disgusted by myself right now. I’ve tried a million times over to write, but it’s all self-pitying bullshit. I’m in an ugly space and I’m struggling and it’s gross and I hate it. &nbsp

Protect Me From... broken

For months I was alone in my own darkness.  I had slipped into something so impenetrably dense that I didn’t know I could even move, let alone escape it.  I feared I was irreparably damaged – my heart annihilated and life hopelessly sad.  I would sit alone for hours, in quiet despair, too tired and ashamed to look for [&hellip

Make music of... kintsugi

The Japanese art of kintsugi is the repair of broken pottery with gold, silver or platinum.  The philosophy behind kintsugi is a reverence for imperfection; embracing the flaws and finding beauty in them as a symbol of resilience. What would happen if we had the capacity to look at ourselves in the same way kintsugi [&hellip

Day 11: 30... holding+pencil

Today’s challenge is to draw a turning point in your life.  This was easy because it changed everything – the life I had, the thoughts I had, ideas about life and love, my mental state, my emotional state, friends and family etc. I told Janie I was leaving her in May of 2010.  I had [&hellip