Our homeowner woes continue. I’m preparing our bathroom for new paint and vinyl floor tiles. As I pulled out the old vinyl tiling, what should appear? CRACKS! IN THE CEMENT FLOOR! FUCK YOU!
Sometimes I hate this house so much!
Luckily, I’ve been doing some research and repairing the cracks isn’t going to take too long and it’s something I can do myself. I’m going to practice positive thinking and look at this as a learning opportunity and not the total bullshit fucking fuckery …

I pulled an extra comforter out of the linen closet last night and as I was lying underneath it on the living room floor, playing with Gus, I saw a small spider crawl away from me.  Logically, I assumed it had been on the blanket and that it was a baby and so I screamed frantically for my wife with the severe phobia of spiders, to come and kill it while I held Gus back like it was a grenade.
It didn’t take long for paranoia to set in and I …

Janie and I have taken on a large project with a tight deadline. We’re painting our bedroom, which also has a dressing area and two closets that need painting. In addition, we’re replacing a sink and vanity. That sounds easy enough, but again, those fuckers from whom we bough this condo were incredibly bad at what they were doing.  When we removed the vanity, it had revealed a hack job on the wall and wobbly plumbing, which means we’ll need to do a sizable patch job and …

Now that I am experienced in removing massive quantities of small tiles from a shower, I feel compelled to offer tips to the next unsuspecting fool who believes a project of this nature will be a piece of cake.

1. Wear shoes
Granted, this should be completely obvious when you have tiny shards of tile crumbling to the ground all around you. I should have known better, but I was just getting started and I was excited. Learn from my mistakes.
2. Keep the first aid kit in an easily accessible …

It’s clear to me now, after only 20 minutes of actual work, that I’ve bitten off more than I can chew in some respects.  We’re renovating our bedroom/master bathroom.
You see, those cocksuckers who sold this place to us two years ago decided to do a lot of construction themselves when they updated.  This would have been fine if they knew anything about construction and codes and laws and, you know, electricity and plumbing.  We have pretty much fixed the electrical nightmare they created in our walls, with a few exceptions …