I rearranged our office this evening.  I moved everything around and nothing is anywhere it used to be.  I can’t find a god damn thing anymore.  WHERE ARE THE BILLS?  Oh well, they must not be important.  We’ll get new ones next month, right?  No problem.
As I took a break from the chaos of moving too many things in too small of an area with too few people helping me (read: none), I wandered down  the hall to put some laundry from the wash to the dryer – the same …

Do you know how much it costs to have RotoRooter come to your house on a Monday night to spend 20 minutes snaking your sink?  $266 American dollar bills. Pipes and plumbing and water are so dumb. Why can’t we go back to a simpler time when people would get their water from a well or a river or whatever and maybe contract dysentery but never have to deal with plumbers who charge outrageous amounts of money.  Also, money is dumb.  I think we need to just barter and trade …

Our homeowner woes continue. I’m preparing our bathroom for new paint and vinyl floor tiles. As I pulled out the old vinyl tiling, what should appear? CRACKS! IN THE CEMENT FLOOR! FUCK YOU!
Sometimes I hate this house so much!
Luckily, I’ve been doing some research and repairing the cracks isn’t going to take too long and it’s something I can do myself. I’m going to practice positive thinking and look at this as a learning opportunity and not the total bullshit fucking fuckery …

I pulled an extra comforter out of the linen closet last night and as I was lying underneath it on the living room floor, playing with Gus, I saw a small spider crawl away from me.  Logically, I assumed it had been on the blanket and that it was a baby and so I screamed frantically for my wife with the severe phobia of spiders, to come and kill it while I held Gus back like it was a grenade.
It didn’t take long for paranoia to set in and I …

Janie and I have taken on a large project with a tight deadline. We’re painting our bedroom, which also has a dressing area and two closets that need painting. In addition, we’re replacing a sink and vanity. That sounds easy enough, but again, those fuckers from whom we bough this condo were incredibly bad at what they were doing.  When we removed the vanity, it had revealed a hack job on the wall and wobbly plumbing, which means we’ll need to do a sizable patch job and …