When I landed in Seattle after coming home from vacation, I quite literally burst into tears and cried.  I could not control myself.  I could not calm myself down.  What I know now is that I was absolutely exhausted, not from travel, but from spending every minute of every day for months just trying to keep it together.  To get better.  To feel more like myself.
I was determined to power through it.  I come from a long line of people who eschew the assistance of others so that we may …

I didn’t intend to make this feature so regular but with going on vacation and coming back and having a breakdown that started when we landed in Seattle and I burst into tears on the plane and humiliated myself, I haven’t been able to do much of anything other than fall in love with Brooke Elliott from Drop Dead Diva and cry in the bathroom at Red Robin during our family Mother’s Day celebration.  I told Leah that my goal for the next six months is to have one family …

I have reached into the chat archives for a 3-way chat Janie, Carrie and I had one night at the beginning of the year.  We’d all suffered a long, hard week and were kind of, maybe, a little bit wasted tipsy.
Janie has joined C has joinedme: yoooosssssJanie: uh oh.. .here we go..we’re drunk alreadyC: You two.me: i had chicken for lunchC: Thanks for inviting me!me: my kidney hurtswho will drive me to the ER?laterJanie: I am wearing contactsC: I appreciate knowing that you two think of me often.me: not …

me: look on FB and tell me if you are still friends with Leah
Janie: says its not found… what’s up?
me: i don’t know!
Janie: huh…
did you text her?
me: i just did, yeah
Janie: please tell me why i called my mom?
me: because you’re insane
same reason i called mine
Janie: we need to stop doing this
me: YES WE DO
Janie: fucking hell
hahaha, my phone hung up on her!
awesome
I should not call her back
but I will
me: hahahaha

11 minutes

Janie: …

I’m having a hard time.  Mostly I just don’t know what the hell I am doing.
It’s funny how you carry around all this baggage from place to place – one relationship or experience to another.  And sometimes you think you’ve let it go and then life comes in and BAM, it slaps you in the face.  GOTCHA BITCH!
This is a real thing that happens to me.
I’m going to say something nice about Janie for a second.  I KNOW.  WEIRD.  But in all reality, I feel incredibly grateful for the friend …