So, I’m reading this really good book that Janie wishes I’d stop talking about because, OH MY GOD, not that fucking fruit book again you asshole! Seriously.
So, this book I can’t shut up about (which I  mentioned several weeks ago) is about fruit.  Mostly about ultra-exotic fruits and the people who hunt them.  That’s why it’s called Fruit Hunters.  See what he did there?  He’s clever…calling it what it is.  Not everyone does that.  Like this doctor I once saw named Phuc Dat.  As it turns out, he really …

Do you know how much it costs to have RotoRooter come to your house on a Monday night to spend 20 minutes snaking your sink?  $266 American dollar bills. Pipes and plumbing and water are so dumb. Why can’t we go back to a simpler time when people would get their water from a well or a river or whatever and maybe contract dysentery but never have to deal with plumbers who charge outrageous amounts of money.  Also, money is dumb.  I think we need to just barter and trade …

Several years ago, way back when I was in college for the first time, a class of mine went to participate in a round table discussion with David Foster Wallace. He was spending some time on campus terrorizing young writers with his particular brand of arrogance and whatever else. I know he’s dead, but even to this day I can’t separate him from that experience, when I found him to be such an assholey asshole. Sometimes writers take themselves far too seriously. This was, after spending …

I’m a day late, but I couldn’t go without mentioning that yesterday was National Librarian Day. Seeing as how my lovely wife has her degree in Information Science, I feel incredibly disappointed in myself for spending yesterday sleeping rather than preparing celebratory library-themed games and snacks.
In honor of that day, and of librarians across the land, let me share some library facts with you (via Wikipedia):
The first two libraries, in ancient Sumer and in Egypt, were repositories for archives, mostly comprised of inventories and commercial transactions.
Private libraries first appeared …

Every once and again comes a product that, upon first glance, I imagine is a joke and then it turns out to be quite real. This is one of those moments. When I look at the cover of this book, I can’t help but think about how much Janie loves flan. Not this flan, though. No, not this one.

from the book description:
Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen …