Kim: is it too early for a beer?
Linsey: No. It’s Sunday. Football.
L: Beer and football go together
K: becuase i have nothing else but water to drink
i have no football
is that okay?
L: I’m watching football so I have that covered
K: does that make me an alcoholic?
thank you for being a friend
L: No, just thirsty
K: your heart is true
you’re a pal
and a confidant
L: And if I threw a party
And invited everyone I knew
Would I see the biggest gift would be from you?
K: you would see the biggest gift would be from me
and the card attached would say
L: Thank you for being my cunt!!
K: I felt the need to get you this big gift because I don’t have that many friends and I have low self esteem so I want to buy your love. Here is the biggest puppy I could afford. Good luck!
L: I like mine better
K: Yes. Thank you for being my cunt!!
I do to.
L: At least I win in friends!
K: i use to wonder what the biggest gift would be
L: I would say cunts but that’s clearly not true
I just snort laughed
It’s a car
I hope it’s a car
Or a hooker
K: probably a hooker
L: Okay. That’s a good gift.
K: that’s a pretty big gift
L: A hot one.
K: what’s the biggest gift i could get you?
L: A hooker
I thought we made that clear
like a las vegas hooker?
or an aurora hookerim typing swhile senezing
hey, that was pretty good.
L: A hot, disease free, nice hooker who is good at the sex.
K: five sneezes.
K: dark hair?
K: out of towner?
A little bananas
Not tooooooo cray
K: i don’t need to ask about the cray. hookers are always cray.
K: i have this beer
it is a good beer
but it does not go well with this donut
L: And a self-employed one. No creepy pimps and gross sex trade shit
i’ll start composing the CL aid.
One hooker. 15–37% cray.
Must have dark hair and be from out of town.
No gross shit like bugs or boils.
Must be good at the sexing.
Please call Kim (this is a gift for Linsey)
L: thank you
Ps no cats
but what about if it’s just a one night stand?
at your house?
L: That’s ok
K: you’d never even see the cats.
L: How many cats ,though?
K: okay. i’ll add that
L: What if they have 10 cats?
I guess that’s more cray than allowable