Linsey: when is date night?
K: picnic at lincoln park
K: i’m providing food. she’s providing the picnic basket
L: PICNICS ARE FOR DATES
K: yes, well, this is a date.
it’s entirely appropriate
L: picnics are for kissin’
i hope they are, for you
K: yes. for me. for you, no picnic, no mayo, no kissin’.
K: Nicole and I are reminiscing on the flying dildo incident of 2014.
L: it’s one of my most favorite memories of this year
K: it’ll definitely be in the year end edition of Time
L: it was AMAZING
i almost got stuck in the tree
K: you did or the dildo did?
K: did you climb the tree to save my dildo?
You really are the BEST!
L: no, it fell out.
as they do
K: the next time a lady moves in with me, i’m going to buy you a hardhat and an orange vest.
just in case things go wrong.
L: good thinking.
and a shirt that says KIM’S LITTLE CUNT
K: probably a badge
L: or else put it on the back of my vest
L: ooh that’s nice
i’m sorry i didn’t put it on my business cards
K: and one of those cars that follow the big trucks. but instead of a sign that says WIDE LOAD it would say LITTLE CUNT.
L: Well, in my case, it should really say both
K: But I’M the truck!
L: WIDE LOAD (little cunt)
ah, i see. you’re right
also, it’s shamed like a vagina
and the cab is the clitoris
L: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
K: BAD VAGINA!
Get back on that truck!
We need to do some photoshoppin’.
L: i hope i don’t run into the weinermobile