Overheard on Facebook Messenger: Morning Edition

Kim: She doesn’t care for orange juice too much, which is great because I hate it when people drink all my juice.

Linsey: Nice. A match made in heaven!

Does she like cat clocks? or cat things?

Does she do things out of the house?

What is her favorite kind of wood?

K: She took an unannounced pee break and I praised her on not continuing the conversation while doing her potty.

She shares my bathroom issues.

She teaches MCAT and GMAT prep by night. By day she does some kind of data analysis something or other.

L: I only talk to you when I’m peeing. So I pee all the time. All day long

K: She wants to learn how to weld, and she can replace a garbage disposal all by herself.

You’re gross.

L: When will she have time to see you? Or do you have to take a class?

I’m peeing right now

K: I think she wants to chat some more before we meet, which is fine by me.

Wash your hands after you wipe your hoo hoo!

L: I never wash my hands. Not even in the shower. I never let soap touch them.

K: Do you wrap your hands in saran wrap before you shower?

Or do you wash with your feet?

L: I put a stick with a sponge on the wall and then rub on it.

K: You so nasty.

L: *pee*

K: You smell like R. Kelly’s sheets.


K: That’s what happens when you pee all the time and walk around with pee hands.

L: I cry

K: Don’t rub pee in your eyes!


K: There’s a good profile name!













K: Not cool, Linsey. Not cool at all. PUT MY JUICE AWAY.



















K: No wonder why you pee so much.

Please stop drinking all the oj, my little cunt.