EVERYTHING IS STUPID

I’m in a mood.  The kind of mood where everything is stupid.

EVERYTHING.

STUPID.

My writing is stupid.  This lamp is stupid. That brownie is stupid.  This chair is SO STUPID.

WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID, EVERYTHING!?

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

But earlier today on the drive home I had a satisfying daydream about telling someone I STRONGLY DISLIKE that she is an awful cunt.  And I guess I’ll take that as a win and let this night fade away with high hopes that tomorrow won’t be so dumb, stupid and dumb.

Also, YOU’RE A CUNT.

Not you, but that one person.  TOTAL. CUNT.

 

11 Comments

  1. JAD
    October 10, 2012

    Just for the record, brownies are never stupid, only delicious.

  2. Phil Collins
    November 28, 2012

    I feel so sad everytime I come here to this blog and there is only everything being stupid. My name is Phil Collins and I know what stupid is. Here, I’ll show you… I mean cheer you up with some of my lyrics.

    “There’s a girl that’s been on my mind
    all the time -sussudiooho.
    Now she don’t even know my name
    But I think she likes me just the same – sussudiooho.
    Ah if she called me I’d be there
    I’d come running anywhere.
    She’s all I need
    all my life
    I feel so good if I just say the word – sussudio
    Just say the word – ohsussudio.
    Now I know that I’m too young
    my love has just begun – sussudiooho.
    Give me a chance
    give me a sign
    I’ll show her anytime – su-sussudiooho.
    Ah
    I’ve got to have her
    have her now
    I’ve got to get closer but I don’t know how.
    She makes me nervous and makes me scared
    But I feel so good if I just say the word – sussudio
    Just say the word – oh
    su-sussudiooho.
    Ah she’s all I need
    all of my life
    I fee’l so good if I just say the word – sussudio
    I say the word – oh
    su-sussudio
    I say the word – oh
    sussudioI’ll say the word – oh
    su-sussudiooho.
    Just say the word
    justjust say the word
    Just say the word – su-sussudio
    sussudio
    sussudio
    Sussudio
    sussudio
    sussudio.
    I say the word – sussudio
    I say the word -oh
    just say the word.”

    My campaign to cheer you up will continue tomorrow with my insipid ballad, “Easy Lover.”

    Best,
    Phil

  3. Phil Collins
    November 29, 2012

    Oy Linsey! It is Linsey, yah? It’s me, Phil Collins again. I’ve got a treat for you! Ok? OK! Here we go…!

    … Ach. That’s not working. Lemme try again…

    …Nope. Nada. Sorry luv, I’m must be stupid like everything or something because I can’t get this thing to work right. No matter close I get to this screen when I sing my Grammy(tm) nominated, pop hit single “Easy Lover” for you it still isn’t appearing onto your weblog. All I’m doing is getting spittle all over my computer thingy. Shite. I’ll have to think of something else to lift your spirits.

    Yours Truly,
    Phil

    P.S. But, if you want, you can hear me sing “Easy Lover” on my greatest hits album called “Serious Hits… Live!” or my other greatest hits album called “…Hits!” (I do love an ellipsis.)

  4. heathen
    November 30, 2012

    I love you Phil Collins. Will Genesis ever record another album?

  5. Phil Collins
    November 30, 2012

    Maybe I will record again if you start blogging again, my dear. I’ve been trying.

    Is your coming back to blog against all odds? ….But seriously, don’t get me started. Your blog is a groovy kind of love. WIthout it, I can’t dance. I can’t talk, and the only thing about me is the way I walk. Maybe you could blog for just one more night. Yes… hold on… I can feel it coming in the air tonight.

    Invisibly touching you,
    Phil

  6. Phil Collins
    December 3, 2012

    Clearly my charms are not working. I’ll have to try something else…
    Sincerely, Phil

  7. heathen
    December 4, 2012

    NO NO NO!!! I’m working on writing! I swear it. PLEASE DON’T GO PHIL! I’m at a coffee shop AS I TYPE, trying to write a new blog post. Don’t give up on me.

  8. December 11, 2012

    Pre menstrual syndrome? anyway brownies are always yummy with coffee, okay? so brownies won’t be stupid, deep it into a coffee and enjoy it okay?

  9. Phil Collins' Ghost
    January 7, 2013

    OMG. I can’t believe that everything is still stupid. You’re killing me.

  10. O fantasma dos Collins de Phil
    January 15, 2013

    Oi, me chamo-me Phil. Se você já aprendeu Portugese que você deve poder ler isto. Eu tive que mover a Brasil porque tudo nos Estados Unidos é aparentemente, ainda estúpido.

  11. heathen
    January 15, 2013

    Can you come back to America now? Brazil is no place for decent people.

Comments are closed.