Uncertainty

It’s been quite some time since I’ve written and there are several reasons.  One is that I’ve had a hard time really knowing what to write.  So many things have changed that it’s hard to even know how to incorporate all of that into this space.  As much as my life has changed in the last year and a half, so has how I approach writing about it as well.  I debate often with closing uncouth heathen and starting fresh somewhere else.  In some ways this seems like a part of another life that no longer exists.  At the same time, it IS my life, whether or not it’s a part of my future.

I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t really know where to go from here.  I want to continue writing the things I’ve always loved to write about with the same humor.  I want to write, also, about my life…but I guess the rub is just that.  How much of my life am I willing to share and how much of my life and the people in it am I obligated to protect and not discuss?  I want to be kind and considerate and at the same time I want to be free to express myself – my joys and frustrations, my opinions and values, my point of view and what the truth looks like to me.  But how much do I really want people to know? Another unanswered question.

All this to say that I’m working my way through to a decision about what comes next…here and in life.  The pieces are falling into place and ever so slowly I find that life, in all its splendor, is doing what it was meant to.  And I’m trusting that what happens is what’s right and where I am is where I’m supposed to be.  Life, as always, is a beautiful thing.  Except when it’s a bullshit.

More soon.

xo,

Linsey

3 Comments

  1. October 13, 2011

    Are we living the same life? Because this path feels very familiar, and I absolutely could have written this post myself. Except for how I’m on quite he exciting cocktail of pain meds these days, so I probably would not have been able to string so many sentences together in the first place. Never would have been able to achieve the whole making complete & utter sense thing either. Totally could have nailed the bullshit line though! Thanks for writing the post I’ve been needing to for far too long now. Somehow it’s comforting to be reminded that this is not as unique and isolating of an experience as it feels like. It’s just life. Beauty, bullshit, and everything in between.

    As a reader, I hope you don’t shut down this space. But as a reader who feels like she’s gotten to know you a bit through this blog and cares about you because of that, I hope you do whatever feels best to you. And that whatever comes next helps you feel free to write, since it seems that you really do enjoy it.

    Damn, those teeny tiny pills make me ramble!
    .-= Fairydogmother ´s last blog ..Good Stuff =-.

  2. October 13, 2011

    P.S. Word verification is really fucking challenging after a dilaudid cocktail, just for the record! (someone should probably take my Internet access away right about now…)
    .-= Fairydogmother´s last blog ..Good Stuff =-.

  3. barak
    October 18, 2011

    It always comes to the point, where we don’t know what to do with our life’s, and then we remember that writing can help us to know how to continue.

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