Yoyoyo peeps!  It’s November, and what that means is it’s time for me to attempt and fail at National Blog Posting Month.  I’m actually hoping it’ll jar me back to reality and get me to writing more.  Or again.  Whatever man, don’t judge me!  I’m in the midst of an emotional crisis.  It’s never-ending, apparently.  APPARENTLY. Maybe one night, again, at some point in the future, some day, I’ll not cry myself to sleep.  Fingers crossed!

I’m actually working on several posts that will hopefully be finished this month.  Except that Uncouth Heathen Back to School Guide.  I think I better just give up on that one since it’s no longer back to school season and who gives a shit anymore about my hot tips on pen selection and who not to sleep with during that first week of your freshman year.  No one, that’s who.  Because you’ve already bought the wrong pens and you’ve slept with all the wrong people and you’re over it.

Instead, I’m working on my long overdue follow-up to those pesky Armageddon posts.  At some point I’ll finish the books I’m reading about what love is and why we search for it and how to keep it alive.  Not that I know anything about it, obviously.  But that’s why I’m doing the research and passing someone else’s information on to you.  Not my own, with the exception of learning from your mistakes and failures and I have no shortage of those.  I’m all mistakes and failures.  If you didn’t know that already, you just wait.  YOU JUST WAIT.  Hoo boy, you’re in for a treat.  You’ll be feeling really good about yourselves after this month is over.

Also, I’m going to talk about my future plans which include grad school and the Peace Corps and seeing Brandi Carlile and/or Robyn in concert on November 21st.  There will be relationship updates and therapy updates and discussions about literature.  You’re my new surrogate wife, Internet, and we’re going to have a long and beautiful life together.

I’ll see you tomorrow…and we’re going to talk about whose turn it is to take out the garbage and I’ll give you a hint.  It’s yours.


  1. meridith
    November 2, 2010

    we’ll be your surrogate wife as long as you’ll let us take off our tops 😉

  2. November 2, 2010

    You know I REALLY could have used that back to school post. The pens I got gave me a wicked bad callus because they didn’t have that good rubber grip (which reminds me that I believe you were going to pilfer your work stash to pass along….). I am still healing and my BIO notes are a clear indicator of the pain I am in because I can’t make shit for sense out of them. As far as my first month whoring, well, I’ve unfortunately fallen upon a bit of a dry spell. I blame you, because without that guide I have completely fallen off the whore-dar and am gettin NOTHING.

    Also – I never take out the garbage, but for your hot-mess trash I may make an exception.
    .-= E’s Mom´s last blog ..Epic Fail! =-.

  3. November 2, 2010

    Man, I was so bummed to miss out on that Brandi show this year. I’m in serious withdrawals. I’m sure it will be in incredible, as usual. Have fun!

    Also, I could have used that back to school guide as well. I suppose we’ll live. But only if you write one for us next year, as this year was an awfully close call!
    .-= fairydogmother´s last blog ..Vote! =-.

  4. Robin O
    November 2, 2010

    Looking forward to your new and pesky posts!

    Also, this?

    “Because you’ve already bought the wrong pens and you’ve slept with all the wrong people and you’re over it.”

    I think that would have been a gratifyingly apt and somewhat clarifying description of myself . . . at approximately age 23. So, you’re definitely more than a bit late with that. But that’s OK. I soldier bravely onward. Kinda sorta.

    (Except maybe not through these election results, I made the mistake of turning on BBCAmerica . . . I may just have to turn that off. An unrelated aside. Sorry!)

  5. heathen
    November 3, 2010

    meredith – please. you know better. tops off is a *requirement*. You’re absolutely hired!

    Carrie – If i get nothing, you get nothing. That’s the rule now, didn’t you know? SO be prepared for a long and cold winter. Probably several of them.

    fairdogmother – This will be the firts time I have seen her, so I’m pretty excited! 🙂 I’ll keep the back to school guide draft so I can finish and revise it for next year.

    Robin O – 🙂 I owe you like 40 emails. I know this.

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