It shouldn’t be a surprise that I ended up at the hospital less than 12 hours after I got here.  But not because Monica beat me senseless – though she has kicked me and hit me a handful of awful times even though I cried and protested and said NO NO NO you’re hurting me WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, is it because I’m so much more awesome than you are, because that’s understandable that you’d be upset about it, but it’s still not okay to hurt me you bitch whyyyyy!?  After we left the airport we went to lunch and after lunch we were driving somewhere.  I can’t remember where because ALL I KNOW IS THAT I WAS GOING TO PEE MY MOTHERFUCKING PANTS.  I had a lot of water.  A LOT OF WATER.  I had so many waters that Donna had to pull over to let me go somewhere, anywhere, and the first and seemingly only option was the hospital, so as I waddled my way in through the doors, Monica was running around trying to find the bathroom.  She went to the reception desk and asked for directions because her stupid American friend was about to pee all over the hospital floor.  So luckily we found! a! bathroom! and I peed the most amazing pee of my entire life. I will never forget the Melbourne Private Hospital bathroom and the beautiful time we had together that afternoon.

I feel like I’ve been here a week even though it’s only been a little over a day, but that’s sort of how life has gone lately.  A day is a week and a week is a month and a month is a year and a year is how long it’s been since there were dinosaurs.  But it is beautiful here and Monica and Donna are gorgeous and their awesome dog Tessa has fallen in love with Janie.  Last night we just sat around and hung out watching Pink concerts and I just sat over in the corner and thought to myself – this is retarded.  This is so fucking insane that I’m sitting on this couch right now with these three people and HOLY SHIT WHAT JUST HAPPENED?  I was in Seattle one minute and now I’m sitting here and OH MY GOD I feel, in some way, like one of the luckiest people in the world that I am here and these people are a part of my life even though I’m a retarded asshole.  It’s overwhelming in a way that I can’t quite wrap my brain around and I just feel a bit stunned.

This morning Monica, Janie and I hung out at the coffee shop that Monica loves, the same place she’s sat while we’ve chatted so many times before and it was mind-blowing.  It’s little moments like these where I feel this crazy sense of disbelief.  Several months ago we bought these tickets to come to Melbourne and on that day the three of us chatted online and went retarded with excitement at the prospect of the very thing we have here right now.  So so so much has happened since then and we have all fallen apart in many ways and come back together in some and things aren’t exactly how we imagined them then, but it’s still an incredible experience to be here, to be together and to look across the table from this gorgeous friend who I adore  and to see my amazing ex-wife sitting beside us and to all sit and talk and kick each other under the table.  I just wanted to cry.  I wanted to burst into tears because even though I feel a little awkward and I’m adjusting, I also felt like there are few people in the world as phenomenal as these two and how fucking special is it to be with them in the same place.

This is going to be one of the best experiences of my life.  I know it already and I still have so many more days to go.  I can’t wait to tell you what else we do, where we go, how we grow and laugh and cry together and how much luckier I will feel with each passing day to know I am among some of the best friends I’ve ever known or believed could exist.

Also, the toilet has two flusher buttons and I don’t know what that other one is for.