God, you guys. it’s 315am on Tuesday and I’ve been sitting in here for days trying to write. I mean, I have literally not left this room. Janie thinks I go to work but really I just hide under the desk until she goes away and then I’m back here staring at the screen, waiting for something to show up. I guess I expect this blog to write itself now. I’m getting really hungry and I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t have peed in the cat litter boxes, but I can’t leave this place until there’s something to say and this is my last effort before I take myself down stairs and devise a way to run myself over with the car. How? I don’t know just yet. I am sure I can find a way. I am very clever.
I know the last several posts have been more serious than usual and I appreciate your consideration while I get it out of my system. NEVER FEAR! I feel the crazy slowly coming back. You can’t keep it away for long…not with this girl. It lingers in the distance, ever vigilant, waiting for the opportunity to STRIKE when you least expect it, like at the grocery store where you scream out SKEET SKEET SKEET in the ice cream aisle for no reason. Apologies to Janie because when people started to stare I pointed my finger at her and said, OH MAN. You’re insane, lady! Also you’re stealing a Snickers bar. I saw you put it down your pants! I guess I get to pick her up from jail on Friday and that’s going to be a really uncomfortable ride home. I know I shouldn’t expect her to be topless any time soon, but you know it won’t stop me from trying. Word!
I just wanted to scribble a brief note to let you know I’m still out here trying to think of something clever and inappropriate. You know, the quality entertainment you’ve come to expect from this quality website written by a quality homosexual. That’s me.
I’ll be back soon and you’ll probably regret it. It’s going to be bigger and better than ever and by better I mean worse because seriously? What the hell are you talking about? I don’t know either. See. You regret it already. I’m glad we got that out of the way.
In closing, toilet paper is on sale at Fred Meyer -$ 9.99 for a 24-pack. You can’t beat that.
Let’s talk again soon