That is a physical representation of what I’ve been writing for weeks now. Everything I write I end up hating. HATING. Gross, like a smelly mixture old garbage and JOOP! cologne.
Also, I hate the Internet. Seriously. I feel so judgey about how some people who are “popular bloggers” became such because, you know what, you can’t write for shit, Perez Hilton. YOU. CAN’T. WRITE. Also, you’re a bad dresser and your hair is stupid.
I’m trying not to be a hater, but sometimes it’s too hard. Too much to ask. Also, Twitter is dumb. Can anyone tweet something other than that they posted something new on their blog? For serious? Because I had to subscribe to Lindsey Lohan’s Twitter feed just to get something better than “Hey, new blog post today! ZOMG!” Also, same goes for Faceboob (typo stays because that image is getting me through the rest of my day, thankyouverymuch).
I have to go because my bitterness and bad attitude are ruining my Lean Cuisine and brussels sprouts. I’ll be in better spirits later this week when I get my new (ORANGE!) cell phone. You’ll know the moment it happens because I’m going to post it to Twitter and Faceboob (YAY! OMG! NEW CELL PHONE! WOOT!).
While I wither away in my self-hatred, please browse the following: