Recently, Dooce posted her answers to a meme asking some silly questions about one’s marriage that had been making the rounds among her Facebook friends. I’d not seen this one before, because all of my Facebook friends are currently obsessed with telling me 25 things about themselves or sharing the 25 albums that changed their lives.
Since today is our third wedding anniversary and this past Sunday was our seventh anniversary since our first date and this coming Friday is our sixth anniversary of having moved in together, I’ll share my answers to the same meme that Dooce posted because today is a day to celebrate not only my ability to charm a lady into marrying me, but also my kind and loving wife’s ability to put up with all of my bullshit. And folks, there is a lot of bullshit. I am her emotional baggage. I stole that line from Scrubs.
What are your middle names?
My middle name is Michelle, which I hate and Janie says doesn’t seem to suit me much at all. I do know that it was almost my first name at some point, but then the Bionic Woman came along and took precedence. Janie’s is Victoria and she can blame General Hospital for that one.
How long have you been together?
We’ve been married three years today and have been together 7 years, this past Sunday.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We don’t have an exact date for this, but it was roughly 12 years ago that we met in the back of that Blockbuster Music store.
Who asked whom out?
I did, after she said I had to ask her out proper during an IM conversation (NERD ALERT!). I called her up and dallied for three hours until she FELL ASLEEP WHILE STILL ON THE PHONE WITH ME. After an awkward few moments of her waking up and then needing to hang up to go to bed, I called her back and asked if she’d go out on a date with me. She said yes. I said I’d call her in the morning to make sure she remembered that she had, in fact, agreed to go on a date with me and that it was a legally binding verbal contract which she could not pull out of without the possibility of facing some serious repercussions.
How old are each of you?
I’m 32, she’s 31. I know, the age difference is insane, but somehow we make it work.
Whose siblings do you see the most?
Mine. Because Janie’s only siblings are two guinea pigs who aren’t much for family gatherings. I’d like to apologize to Janie for her having to witness the dysfunction of a family with siblings.
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Shirt. Come Off. Will it or won’t it?
Did you go to the same school?
Well, we both went to the University of Washington for our undergraduate degrees. We didn’t go together or anything, but technically we share a mutual indifference for our UW Husky football team.
Are you from the same home town?
I grew up in Seattle and so did Janie, but when I was in high school, my part of town declared its independence and became Shoreline, severing its ties to the big city. But technically, yes, we did grow up in the same place. Now we both live in Seattle together while our parents, separately, live in Shoreline about five minutes apart.
Who is smarter?
I do not like this question. PASS.
Who is the most sensitive?
I have all the feelings. ALL OF THEM. All your feeling are belong to me. nom nom nom nom nom…
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Probably Azteca, a Mexican restaurant attached to Janie’s Hell on earth, the mall. A close second is Blue C, a sushi restaurant with a conveyor belt of deliciousness which is, you know, attached to a mall.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
The Ronald Reagan Museum and Library.
Who has the craziest exes?
You know, I can’t really say. Janie hides hers. She keeps them locked in a box and talks very little about them unless I ask, at random intervals, if they ever got to see her with her shirt off. My exes are all fine, upstanding people, except that one.
Who has the worst temper?
Why are you judging me? YOU DON’T KNOW THIS BABY!
Who does the cooking?
Janie can make stir fry. I hate stir fry. Not because she makes it, but because stir fry is disgusting. So I cook more often than not because if Janie insists on holding the knife that way I think my head will explode.
Who is the neat-freak?
I think we would all feel better if Janie would please clean out her bedside table.
Who is more stubborn?
CLEAN OUT THAT GOD DAMN BEDSIDE TABLE, JANIE! This is a toss up. Am I more stubborn for repeatedly asking her to do the same things, or is she more stubborn for repeatedly refusing to do them?
Who hogs the bed?
I like to splay my limbs across the bed, but they’re all short and stubby, so it can’t take up that much room. Janie likes to be on me, tight, cuddled up, so she is not so much hogs the bed as she will not just get off me, already.
Who wakes up earlier?
Janie is better at waking up early when she needs to, but I work earlier than she does so she has the luxury of lazing about in bed and talking about oooh, how tired she is and how she can only sleep for another hour while I am running around trying to find my fucking keys. So, really, I get up earlier. Even on the weekends.
Where was your first date?
Typhoon! a Thai restaurant below Pike Place Market
Who is more jealous?
Neither of us is ever really jealous. I can’t say that it comes up other than when we say to one another, wow…why are other couples always so jealous all the time? We’re so drama free in the jealousy/relationship department that it’s probably some sort of diagnosable psychological condition for which we should be able to claim a disability and be compensated by the government and receive special accommodations from our employers.
How long did it take to get serious?
We have never not been serious. Seriously. I have loved Janie for as long as I can remember. It’s gross, I know.
Who eats more?
It’s me. Because Celiacs can’t eat anything remotely delicious, so I have to have twice the deliciousness to make up for her.
Who does the laundry?
We both do a pretty equal share of it, I’d say. We do a lot of laundry. Except yesterday, Janie. EXCEPT YESTERDAY.
Who’s better with the computer?
We’re equally adequate when it comes to solving technological problems. I’m probably most likely to fiddle around with new things. Janie is most likely to not care.
Who drives when you are together?
I do, absolutely. I hate to be driven places. I hate giving up that control of when I can and cannot leave some place and drive away, squealing my tires and turning up the music.