billbarol tweeted about Peter Cetera today and immediately I was taken back to a time long ago when my neighbors and I would put on lip-syncing concerts for our parents. We’d pick these disgusting under ripe cherries from the tree of an unsuspecting neighbor and serve them to our captive audience while Trent, Greg and I sang into the microphones from my parents record player/stereo and Julie pretended to play keyboard on the ironing board covered by my baby blanket. Our last performance came one hot summer of …

When your patrons are unappreciative, you can show this video and tell them, “Hey, if you don’t quit being a crazy bitch, you’ll cry on live television like this guy when we shut this motherfucker down.”

Greetings to you between-holiday cleansers. I got your emails inquiring about the cleanse, if we were cleansing and how it was going. Well, I have something to say about this motherfucking cleanse.
I was amped up to start this thing again, to go from Thanksgiving to Christmas eating vegan deliciousness, feeling good about myself while having unspeakable things happening in my bottom system. It was for health. FOR HEALTH! So we gobbled up our turkey and stuffed our faces with sugary yams on Thanksgiving and prepared …