25 people or groups of people I’d like to punch in the face

  1. Anyone who stops in the middle of a sidewalk, aisle, other walkway, completely oblivious to the people behind or around them. MOVE TO THE SIDE, ASSHOLE.
  2. People who do not give a courtesy wave after I let them cut in front of me in traffic.
  3. Yeah, you. You know who you are.
  4. People who steal other people’s stuff. Stuff they worked hard for while these thieves fucked around and decided the only skill they had was to steal shit that doesn’t belong to them.
  5. People who dally in the crosswalk.
  6. People who get up to the grocery store register and leave their cart in line and continue to shop.
  7. Tom Cruise
  8. Anyone who refers to a member of my family as a Nazi, publishes it in an online magazine, thinks an apology only when confronted will make up for it and leaves it there for my mom to find.  Yeah, fuck you.
  9. Line cutters
  10. People who bump into other people and don’t apologize or show any recognition that they just invaded someone else’s space.
  11. Seth Rogan and anyone who thinks he’s funny.
  12. People who constantly talk shit about other people and then wonder why they don’t have any friends.
  13. Sick people who don’t do anything but complain about being sick, talk about how sick they are and then complain because no one cares that they’re so sick.
  14. Those who antagonize and then alienate everyone around them and then feel sorry for themselves when it becomes quite clear that no one likes them.  Victims, the ones who are not really victims but act like they are.
  15. Those two guys who sold us our condo.
  16. This guy
  17. People who are too stupid to use birth control properly and then complain about having to take care of a baby they don’t want.
  18. Anyone who argues against gay marriage because it’ll lead to people marrying animals (it’s a slippery slope, you know!).
  19. Each and every one of those CEO’s who mismanaged their company so horrifically that it collapsed or is near collapse, and then walks away from the ruins with millions of dollars in their pockets while employees and shareholders go broke.
  20. Bill O’Reilly
  21. Ann Coulter
  22. Sean Hannity
  23. That guy who tried to drive his BMW in the snow, but got stuck in the middle of an intersection because, you know, there’s snow and ice out there and he’s only in a BMW, without chains.
  24. Anyone who says horrible things about gays but claims not to be a bigot because, HEY!  I have gay friends!
  25. Famous people who seek the limelight and then complain they can’t get any privacy.

2 Comments

  1. December 27, 2008

    this is a great list, i share many of these with you.

    sounds like someone needs beating up on #8, count me in.

  2. December 30, 2008

    three cheers for the republican trifecta, #s 20, 21, and 22. i’ll happily punch mr. o’reilly if i see him before you.
    i may have to steal this concept.
    happy xmas, new year, and bday. i miss you.

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