I have a tale to tell about my surgery; about the time surrounding my surgical experience, if you will. The problem is, as I typed up there in the title, that it takes a long time to tell all the stuff that’s worth telling. Like about the throwing up, the yelling, the diabetes (pronounced: diahbeetuhs), the drugs (OH THE DRUGS!) and my father. I’m working on it, and it’s not even near done, and Carson is sitting here next to me on the desk, trying to get in my arms and I keep pushing her away and she keeps coming closer, slowly, like I won’t notice her until it’s too late and she’s sitting on my arms, asleep, drooling. Either that or she’s just going to attack me, scratch my face off and then when I pass out she’ll get on me, curl up and fall asleep. Cats are a bullshit.
So, I’d like to use this time to tell you about my Sims 2 family. Sim Janie and I have adopted a baby girl. Sim Janie is sleeping with Sim Bette from the L Word, several times while I was asleep in the next room after a hard day on the campaign trail. Rude! She asked my Sim Mother out on a date, and while out shopping, Sim Janie hit on Sim Tina from the L Word, Sim Bette’s wife. My Sim Mother saw this and was having none of it, so she slapped Sim Janie and ended that date right quick. Now my Sim Mother keeps creeping around the house, stealing our newspaper and cackling. This is serious shit. I have been having an affair with my Sim Coworker who most recently caught me flirting with Sim Nina Caliente in the park. Well, needless to say the affair was off and she, too, has been creeping about the house and stealing the newspaper. Sim love is so complicated. I am making good progress in my career as a City Council person and Sim Janie is enjoying her stint as a Resident Physician. We’re rich, bitch! We have more Sim money than we can shake a stick at.
I am happy to report that Sim Janie is more than happy to take her shirt off whenever I ask.