November 21 2008

The moment you’ve all been waiting for

This morning I woke up at 5am with crud in my throat, a nagging feeling that no amount of sniffing and snorting and blowing would unhinge. After about 45 minutes of tossing and turning, I recognized that the large mass the doctor had loosened on Tuesday was rattling around. I had an internal conversation about whether it would be a good idea to try to remove it or to let it “work it’s way out naturally.” After recalling the scene at the doctor, when that giant mass of disgusting came out of my face, I thought to myself: This thing is not coming out through my mouth, or being swallowed if it dislodges. With that, I made my way into the bathroom and grabbed the tweezers. I put them into my nostril, as far back as I could reach and grabbed. At first only a tiny piece of something came out, but I felt more back there and I knew it was big. I tried again and out came a giant, black and red, gooey, half-dried, half sticky mass, larger than the one I told you about before. And, as promised, I took some pictures. It was nearly 6am and I wasn’t wearing glasses and that is not an hour at which I am high-functioning, so the photos are not incredible in quality, but you’ll get the idea.  If you dare, click HERE. I couldn’t find a ruler, or something like a quarter for scale, so I used a matchbox car that was on Janie’s desk.

You’re welcome.

Filed Under NaBloPoMo, photo, tiny 


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Comments

8 Responses to “The moment you’ve all been waiting for”

  1. Bandobras. on November 21 2008 8:17 pm

    You may have saved us all from the rebirth of the alien.
    Good work and I hope you feel better soon.

  2. Pamela on November 21 2008 8:22 pm

    Thank God! I can sleep easy tonight. (yikes!!!!!)

  3. Meridith on November 21 2008 8:36 pm

    I’m not sure how you were breathing at all…

  4. leah on November 21 2008 10:23 pm

    that is a beaut! i feel almost a little dirty b/c i was excited to see your mass.

    i wonder how you were breathing too. have you ever considered having sinus surgery? am i annoying you with all this sinus surgery talk?

  5. heathen on November 21 2008 10:51 pm

    are you suggesting that i am posting too much about my sinus surgery? could that be it? god, you’re such a whore.

  6. XUP on November 22 2008 4:13 am

    I’m little disappointed. I was expecting you to pull the surgeon’s Rolex out of there. But a slimy, bloody mass is not bad either.

  7. leah on December 1 2008 7:50 pm

    not at all, i just like to make the funny. you know, like the kids on the streets do. i am most glad i’ve graduated to being called a whore by the master of all whores ;)

  8. heathen on December 2 2008 2:17 pm

    i’m not always up with what’s hot on the streets.

    yes, it’s true. there is no bigger whore than me. Or at least that’s what my brother probably tells people.

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