Janie and I have taken on a large project with a tight deadline. We’re painting our bedroom, which also has a dressing area and two closets that need painting. In addition, we’re replacing a sink and vanity. That sounds easy enough, but again, those fuckers from whom we bough this condo were incredibly bad at what they were doing.  When we removed the vanity, it had revealed a hack job on the wall and wobbly plumbing, which means we’ll need to do a sizable patch job and …

Why hasn’t anyone ever bothered to tell me?  Was it because you wanted it all for yourselves, you greedy little monkeys?  Because, seriously, you don’t need that much nutmeg.  Nobody does.  That’s the god damn joy of bulk spices, there is some for everyone and it’s practically free.
Tonight I bought cinnamon in bulk at the recommendation of my sister, who let me in on the little secret about how those jars at the grocery store filled with spices that cost nearly $10.00?  Yeah, they’re like $0.50 for the same amount …

Inspired by XUP.

Been legally married
Traveled to a third world country
Donated to a politician
Bought a brand new car
Gotten into a fistfight
Won money in Vegas and not turned right around to lose it all
Made a soufflé
Broken a bone that required me to wear a cast
Had “the relations” with a gentleman
Memorized all the words to the Act of Contrition (TAKE THAT, Catholic Church!)
Lit a cat on fire
Read War and Peace
Watched Casablanca or Citizen Kane or Gone with the Wind
Appreciated the subtle aroma of a litter box
Enjoyed chocolate cake or any cake with a …

[via]