It seems that we’re having a battle of wills with the upstairs neighbors. Every Tuesday is trash day and when we moved in to this place they told us the system was that we rotated months for who put the garbage outside the garage for pick-up. Almost every other month since then, when it is their turn, they do not hold up their end of the bargain. More often than not, we get fed up and do it ourselves after getting home from work. Last week I rolled it back inside as the guy was walking through the garage and he completely ignored me. I wanted to scream at him, “LOOK AT IT! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT!” but I didn’t because my wife was around and I didn’t want her to see me get so worked up over a garbage can. She has bigger things to worry about, like watching me get worked up over baked goods.
Janie has actually been the one to get more excited about the thought that they might not wheel out that can, and she starts to get really nervous on Monday nights when it’s not put out by the time it gets dark. She obsesses over it and, from time to time, she’ll wake up in the middle of the night and check and see if they snuck it out there while she was dreaming about engaging them in a fish-fight over the whole situation.
Last night the garbage sat outside and Janie was mad with resentment that it hadn’t been returned back to its proper place. When I left for work this morning, it was still there, right next to my car. I actually had to move it to get in the driver’s seat because the wind pushed it against the door. I could easily have wheeled it into the garage myself, but I would rather let it sit out and wait so that the neighbors know that we’re two gay ladies who will not play games. We will not be made to move garbage cans against our will!
I expect that when I get home later tonight I’ll find that garbage can in the same place I put it this morning, unless Janie follows through with her rampant threats to “wheel that fucker right into the middle of their parking spot,” but even then, they’d probably just push it back over to the side of the garage and wait out the week until the calendar turns and it’s our responsibility again. I’d just like to make a note that if, on every Tuesday in the month of August, the trash accidentally overturns in their parking spot it will have had nothing to do with me. I will not be to blame for who or whatever has spread out the unfortunately torn open plastic bags of soiled and malodorous cat litter all over their car window. And if some should get into their front seat as well, I’d just like to point out that it’s probably that murder of crows that flies by all the time. It will definitely not be me.