July 31 2008

Lies My Teacher Told Me and Other Lies I’m Going To Tell You About The History of Humanity

Apparently the world’s oldest recorded joke, courtesy of the Sumerians, goes something like this:
Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.
It’s good to know that humanity hasn’t strayed far from it’s roots with jokes about poop and dicks and butts. I feel so relived knowing [...]



07/31/2008 | daily | Trackback | 3 Comments »

July 30 2008

Trash Day

It seems that we’re having a battle of wills with the upstairs neighbors. Every Tuesday is trash day and when we moved in to this place they told us the system was that we rotated months for who put the garbage outside the garage for pick-up. Almost every other month since then, when [...]



07/30/2008 | daily | Trackback | 1 Comment »

July 29 2008

Overheard in the living room

Did you eat all the chocolate?
No, you did.
I did not.
Yes, you did. I only ate the peanut butter cups and you ate all the rest of it.
That’s a lie.
No, it’s not. And you know what? That ice cream, all the ice cream that’s left is mine.
Oh yeah?
Yeah. Any anything else in [...]



07/29/2008 | overheard | Trackback | No Comments »

July 27 2008

Dear Asshole Neighbor

Maybe you could try your hardest to be a decent neighbor and you and your little bitch friends could maybe shut the fuck up so that the rest of the neighborhood could get some sleep. I’ve been pretty kind over the weeks, putting up with a constant chorus of “Ooooooooohhhh” coming from your windows [...]



07/27/2008 | daily - open letter | Trackback | 4 Comments »

July 24 2008

Not Ebola

You know, I’m very tired today. I’ve been sleeping well this week, except for that one night when the seagulls had some sort of screaming seagull convention outside our window at 5am, but even with all that delicious sleep I’ve found it difficult to make it through the day. I have come to [...]



07/24/2008 | daily | Trackback | 1 Comment »

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