Apparently the world’s oldest recorded joke, courtesy of the Sumerians, goes something like this:
Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.
It’s good to know that humanity hasn’t strayed far from it’s roots with jokes about poop and dicks and butts. I feel so relived knowing that all the men in my family are merely staying true to their ancient heritage. Those ancient Sumerians would be so proud knowing that voluminous jokes about shit have carried on…and on…and on…and on.
I never …

It seems that we’re having a battle of wills with the upstairs neighbors. Every Tuesday is trash day and when we moved in to this place they told us the system was that we rotated months for who put the garbage outside the garage for pick-up. Almost every other month since then, when it is their turn, they do not hold up their end of the bargain. More often than not, we get fed up and do it ourselves after getting home from work. Last week …

Did you eat all the chocolate?
No, you did.
I did not.
Yes, you did. I only ate the peanut butter cups and you ate all the rest of it.
That’s a lie.
No, it’s not. And you know what? That ice cream, all the ice cream that’s left is mine.
Oh yeah?
Yeah. Any anything else in there, anything else you can put in your mouth is mine now. Hands off.
(silence)
And all the money to buy anything that you could put into your mouth is mine, too.

Maybe you could try your hardest to be a decent neighbor and you and your little bitch friends could maybe shut the fuck up so that the rest of the neighborhood could get some sleep. I’ve been pretty kind over the weeks, putting up with a constant chorus of “Ooooooooohhhh” coming from your windows as you guys play your new Wii or whatever bullshit is going on over there. I’ve not said one word until now.
You know, ordinarily I wouldn’t say anything at all. I would keep …

You know, I’m very tired today. I’ve been sleeping well this week, except for that one night when the seagulls had some sort of screaming seagull convention outside our window at 5am, but even with all that delicious sleep I’ve found it difficult to make it through the day. I have come to the conclusion that it has to be one of the following things:
It’s possible that the “virus” or sickness of sorts that I had last week is loosening its grip and my body is slowly recovering, …