Those Damn Gays

There has been a big story around town this past week about two lesbians kissing at Safeco Field during a Mariners game. The story is that a mother complained to an usher that she didn’t want to have to explain to her son about homosexuality.

Dan Savage posted his reactions to the initial news on the Stranger’s Blog (SLOG), playfully suggesting that the gay community stage a kiss-in, and included snippets from his conversations with Mariners PR spokesperson Rebecca Hale. With each news piece and conversation, the Mariners were adding more lewd behavior to their descriptions of the incident that started out as a simple lesbian kiss. Suddenly they were making out. Then they were groping. In her most recent emailed press release she claims that these two girls were fondling and swearing. Maybe tomorrow Rebecca Hale will start telling the press that these two lesbians were fucking each other. RIGHT THERE IN THE SEATS.

The Seattle PI blog that published Ms. Hale’s email also includes a comment from someone who was sitting a few seats down from the couple in questions and that story is very different from the one being put out by the Mariners. It’s in-depth and includes the names of the ushers to whom this person spoke, so it appears credible. Here are some snippets:

*****

I was at the game, sitting 5 seats to the right of Sirbrina and her “closeted” date.

The seating host who came to talk to us, I believe his name is Darren, was very friendly about the whole thing. He stated that there was a complaint made about the two girls being overly affectionate. The complaint apparently was coming from a woman and her child, sitting in a different section, rows ahead of where we were sitting.

So, we went outside of the seating area to find Darren’s supervisor, meeting another seating host apparently involved in the complaint. I believe his name is Vern. This man was not as friendly and I don’t want to discriminate based on his age, but he was older. I’m not sure if he was well versed in any sort of civil rights agenda. Vern said that he saw the girls kissing, heavily. I knew I couldn’t fight that so I decided to ask about what kind of affection was appropriate. Vern said that two girls kissing or showing any affection was inappropriate in a family setting. I said okay, I need to talk to your supervisor immediately. Because in this case, that kiss wasn’t just a kiss. Not to Vern. To Vern, two girls kissing was obscene, based on his personal beliefs.

But I do know that their story has changed time and time again, their employee’s share conflicting views on how to handle such a situation and that they’ve taken Sirbrina’s and several other girls’ words and actions and manipulated them to try to create some weak defense, when the reality of the situation is anything but clear, at least to me.

We are in touch with several people that were sitting around us, who can agree that there was no inappropriate behavior occurring between the two girls.

*****

I’m not a fan of PDA as a general rule. I don’t want to see anyone shoving their tongue down anyone else’s throat, regardless of sexual orientation. Do I give a shit about two people kissing? No. People kiss, it’s an expression of affection for another human being. If you can’t stomach that, then maybe you should stay at your house and watch some more Fox News. If you can’t just tell your kid, “Well, those two women like each other a lot, and I think it’s wrong, but they don’t,” then there is more of something wrong with you than anyone else, because I can guarantee that at some point, that boy is going to see it again and again in his lifetime, as society comes to grips with the reality that gay people aren’t just going to go away. We have rights, not special ones, but average American rights that include holding hands with the people we love and maybe kissing them from time to time. So suck it.

The woman at the center of the story, Sirbrina Guerrero, is a former contestant on A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, and people are using this as “proof” that this was staged to gain her more notoriety and extend her fifteen minutes of fame. Also, if she’ on a show like that, then it must be true that she’s a whore with no shame. If she’d have the audacity to participate of a dating reality show, then you bet she’d be the type of person to shove her hands down a women’s pants at a baseball game. Because that makes so much sense. Her response to this was well-put, “Do they honestly think I don’t know the difference between a dating reality television show and a baseball game?”

What’s at the center of this is the usual struggle for gay people to be treated like average human beings. Let us enjoy a baseball game with our partners and families. Maybe we”ll hold hands or maybe we’ll steal a kiss just like that heterosexual couple a few rows down from us. Hey, maybe sometimes I’ll even tell my partner that I love her within earshot of you kids. Don’t give me your bullshit attitude that I’m shoving my lifestyle down your throat when I show even the smallest bit of affection to my loved one. Don’t talk about family values like I don’t have any, because last time I checked I was part of a family and just because our values aren’t the same as your doesn’t mean they’re not good enough.

I get that a lot of people disagree with the notion of gay people. I get that they may think we’re an abomination, that they think we’re sick and perverted and worthless and disgusting. I get it. I hear it, I see it, I even agree that people have every right to hold those beliefs, no matter how backwards or sad I think they may be. What I will not accept is that people have a right to tell me that I can’t love my wife, that I can’t hold her hand and kiss her at a baseball game or anywhere else. I have every right to be gay in this country and you have every right to hate me for it. Fine. I’m used to people’s hatred and vile and it’s about time that those people get used to the fact that gay people exist, and not just in our homes and out of eyesight or earshot. If you don’t like it, if you don’t want to see it, if you don’t want to know about it, then maybe you should stay home.

4 Comments

  1. June 9, 2008

    I’d be interested to know where this woman has been keeping her kid that this would be the first time he’s ever been exposed to, and/or heard that there was such a thing as homosexuality? From what I’ve seen, the young people seem to be totally cool with other people’s sexual orientation. I have a teenaged daughter and her gang of friends include kids who identify as gay, straight, lesbian, bi and all or none of the above.

  2. E's Mom
    June 9, 2008

    Personally I belive that in this situation it’s BOTH the woman being a C-U-Next-Tuesday about the kiss AND the chick getting her 16th Minute. Honestly, it probably wouldn’t have been reported in the news otherwise. Everyone was angling for what they wanted out of this.

    See, the mother obviously has some serious issues herself. When my kid sees two ladies kiss he doesn’t flinch. (Probably because your wife and you can’t keep your paws off eachother.) BUT – that doesn’t make it okay for the usher to agree with her and kick them out based on HIS views. Me? I don’t want to see ANYONE gettin’ frisky in ANY way at a baseball game. It’s depressing for those who are single, and I really also don’t want to know what turns folks on. To that point though, I’m not going to stop someone from doing what makes them happy, and I would NEVER entertain the idea of having them stop or be removed from my view.

    So the chick – well if she was on any ole show – the Bachelor or the like – I don’t think it would have been made out to what it was. Most of those folks are pretty tame (mostly). The kind of show that she was on was based on an over-sexed MySpace made porn-y girl. The ladies and gents on the show were there to show how sexually compatible they would be with Ms. Tequila. So in THIS case, I kind of see the 16 minutes angle.

    In the end, I don’t care who the girl and her partner are, EVERYONE has human rights. There are obvious things wrong with society – still. Even in a liberal city like Seattle, our MLB Franchise can’t seem to get to the facts or properly hire personnel to handle any situation regardless of the sexual, ethnic, religious, political or ailen nature. Sad.

  3. August 24, 2008

    you brought the thunder, you did. very well done, you are a wise woman.

    my first thought about the woman having to explain it to her child was “so what”? she has to explain the moon, the sun, and the clouds too.

    as a mother, it was a sad day when i realized i had to explain prejudice to my kids.

    i agree with you in that if they don’t like it, then they should stay home. i think it speaks more that these people have a problem with their own sexuality on some kind of level.

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