Janie was born in 1977. Her mother had toxemia, so Janie was born prematurely and she almost died. Because she was born two months early, she has tiny underdeveloped ears that did not unfold all the way, but don’t say this in front of her mom because she will kick you in the shins. Also, they had to put an IV in her head because it was the only vein they could find that worked (maybe my allergist’s assistant was on duty that day) and in order …

Those Texans love their irrational jackasses.
Deborah Solomon interviews Texas Governor Rick Perry:
Let’s talk about your new book, “On My Honor,” which draws on your experience as an Eagle Scout and champions the values of the Boy Scouts of America, to whom you are donating your royalties. Yes, to their legal-defense fund.
Which has been fighting the A.C.L.U., to keep gays out of the scouts. Why do you see that as a worthy cause? I am pretty clear about this one. Scouting ought to be about …

About six years ago, I was spending a lot of time on the phone with Janie, sometimes up to three hours a night talking about…what? Who talks about anything for three hours a night? What could I possibly have had to say? That’s probably why she fell asleep while I was mustering up the moxie to ask her out on a date for the first time.
I’d never asked anyone out on a date before. I’ve always been pretty shy and, I’ll be honest, a little low …

Janie and I have been sharing a full size bed for the length of our relationship. For six long years we’ve positioned our bodies in unnatural poses around three sleeping cats whose only responses to prodding to move are to growl. We’ve spent most of the years pressed tightly together like peas in a pod. Until Monday night.
As a birthday gift from my parents, we got a new mattress and as an anniversary gift from ourselves, we bought a bed frame. We spent the first night …

While you were preparing to draw blood for that allergy test, I should have known. It should have been obvious when you started to explain your “one prick” rule whereby you give yourself one chance to do it right, or find someone else who can. If not that, I should definitely have started to second-guess when you said you had to do it standing up because it “just never works” when you do it while sitting. That should have been enough to make me reconsider, but …