State Your Intentions

Someone I know works with energy, and I don’t mean the electric company. She clears energy and has, on a couple of occasions, come to our house to clear the bad and make way for the good. She’s cleared me a few times as well, usually of those headaches that feel like rats gnawing at my eyeballs.

I’m suspicious, but I’m also intrigued. I am willing to listen and learn about what she does, and I’m willing to try it out from time to time because what are the consequences if it’s not real? Only that I spend a part of my Saturday afternoon doing something more interesting that demanding that Janie make me another sandwich filled with poisonous gluten. I can’t say I am a believer, yet I cannot say that I am not. I have seen and felt things that could be real, but there is also a part of me that thinks maybe it was all in my wild imagination. I just don’t know. It’s like God – sure, some of the shit going on seems pretty spectacular, like there has to be something behind it that I can’t see or know, but maybe it really is just regular-ass shit going on, nothing special at all, but I trick myself into believing it’s special so I can feel like there is a purpose to my life.

That’s another story for another day.

So my energy-working acquaintance said that tomorrow, January 11th, is some kind of special day if you’re a believer in numerology. There was mention of Vedic astrology along with some other words and concepts I didn’t understand. I tried to Google it to get a more basic, elementary explanation of why it is special, but I couldn’t find anything that simple. Even Wikipedia was too complicated to get the point across, so I’m just going to go with it and try to accept something that I don’t understand – like why Carson poops next to three clean litter boxes.

Yes, hello, sidetracked again.

Tomorrow is a special day where the universe is opening up to our intentions. It is a day where we can let our our heart’s desire for what we want, what we would like the universe to give to us, flow out to the great unknown to later come back to us in a spectacular fashion. You can do this in your own special way, I am told. You can make up a ritual, you can do it in the shower, driving to work or , and you can do it all day long. There is no limit on what you can put out there – you can be as greedy as you’d like. You just set your intentions for what you’d like to get back, but BEWARE! If you put out negative energy through the day, if you put out dread and disaster and thoughts about how you wish your wife wasn’t always eating the big chips and leaving nothing left in the bag but crumbs, well, get used to eating your chips with a spoon. Also, it’s not enough to just think about what you want, you have to feel what it would be like to have it. Immerse your body in your desires and then let go of it and if it was yours to begin with, it’ll come back to you. Or at least that’s what someone said once to me when my first girlfriend and I broke up. It didn’t work, but I still believe that one day she’ll come knocking at my door and won’t she be so sorry to see me with some cute babies and a hot wife who won’t clean the kitchen.

I’m going to ask for many things. I’ll put in an order for gratitude, for joy, for understanding, for hope. I’ll ask for some other things like a comfortable amount of money and maybe to not always feel so invisible, because I’m a human being and God damn it, I’m standing right in front of you and I want to buy this ridiculously overpriced key chain, stupid ass-face, so stop paying attention to that lady who will never buy that ugly bag you Seattle Art Museum Sculpture Park gift shop motherfucker.