So I’m closing in on the end of my beloved book The Children of Henry VIII. Mary is queen now, after John Dudley, the first Duke of Northumberland and a total douchebag, tried to take her out. He cried like a baby when he was arrested,  brought to the tower and, finally, sentenced to death. The punishment is so hilariously fitting for someone so wretched that I had to make a special post just to share it.
Hanging, drawing, quartering and having his heart cut from his body …

I’ve been eating salad like nobody’s business the past few days.  I bought a large box of mixed greens at Costco, forgetting that it never lasts more than 7 days, if that.  My constant salad-eating doesn’t seem to be diminishing the reserve.  It’s like it doubles in size every time I take a handful.  I’ve been forcing salad on Janie at every turn.  Tomorrow I’ll bring it to work and display it in the kitchen like the others display their fresh baked goods.  The first person to send me their …

Janie checked Harlow out from the library about 6 years ago and never bothered to bring her back, no matter how much I have begged over the years.
Her nickname is The Stink, because that’s what she is. You can also call her Tiny Monkey, Tiny Stink, Stinkerpotamus and Stinkerbean. Sometimes you can call her an asshole and when Janie says, “Did you just call Harlow an asshole?” You just say “Yes I did. Because she’s being one.” Because you know what, sometimes Harlow is such an asshole.
Harlow …

I can’t post much today because I am reading The Children of Henry VIII. I’m at the part where Mary, the Catholic and oldest sibling, has been forbidden to practice her religion by her brother and those that rule on his behalf until he comes of age and is having secret masses said by a clergyman who is hiding in her home. Soon, Edward will die and somehow Jane Grey will become queen for just over a week before Mary gets her chance to say “Fuck ya’ll” to …

Janie, a friend and I just spent a few hours watching a 2005 movie called Hard Candy.
I was especially interested to see Ellen Page acting in something after having recently seen her rock the big screen in Juno.
This movie is VERY different and intensely disturbing.  They are certainly not comparable.
This is, sadly, all I have to report.