Later tonight I’m going back to Target to spend more money

I’ve been browsing around at Grocery section. I clicked on the Top Sellers option and was given several pages of coffee and diapers. It seems pretty clear that either someone is trying to prepare for a massive Lisa Nowak-style attack or there are a lot of tired parents who are unable to make it to the store for more diapers.

I found Janie’s favorite gluten-free cereal in a pack of six, though, and I’m thinking of ordering it up for her. This means that I won’t be able to use one of the reusable grocery bags from my massive and ever-expanding collection. I keep forgetting to bring them to the store, so each time I have to buy a new one in my attempt to save the earth from landfills overflowing with plastic grocery bags. Janie doesn’t like this because the more I buy and try to use the special reusable bags, the less plastic bags we have for litter box scooping. She didn’t like it when I suggested she just scoop it into her hand and run it down to the trash bin.

In more exciting news, Janie and I went to the Costco Home store with my parents yesterday in search of a new mattress, a birthday gift from them to me. We had settled on one particular queen-size model that just came on coupon, because I’ve spent the last five years smashed into a full size with three cats and a wife who MUST TOUCH THE LINSEY at any cost. Once we arrived, we realized that the king sized mattress, for only $100 more, would be on coupon in mid-February and decided to wait for that one because I’d be able to push Janie off of me without getting in trouble because she fell on the floor. We also checked out some new beds because until we get one of those, the mattress will have to sit on the floor and the cats will have nowhere to hide from us when they do naughty things on the bathroom rug instead of in their brand newly littered cat boxes. Before we left, we somehow and totally unexpectedly, had my parents purchase a new 9-piece kitchen table set for us. It’s pretty awesome.


Later tonight we’re going to Target for my new, favorite Fiber One bars and whatever else I can get into the cart without Janie finding out.