So I’m closing in on the end of my beloved book The Children of Henry VIII. Mary is queen now, after John Dudley, the first Duke of Northumberland and a total douchebag, tried to take her out. He cried like a baby when he was arrested,  brought to the tower and, finally, sentenced to death. The punishment is so hilariously fitting for someone so wretched that I had to make a special post just to share it.

Hanging, drawing, quartering and having his heart cut from his body and thrown in his face.

Lucky for him, Mary commuted his sentence to a simple beheading.