How are you?
If you asked me how I am doing, I would tell you I am doing fine.
What do you think I should do about the spam comments that keep showing up in my comment moderation files? Today I’ve received about six inappropriate comments from “people” offering me all sorts of pornographic links. The last one promised a “mother daughter threesome” and what I can only assume is a tutorial on “how to make your own sex toy.”
Tyra, I’ll be honest, this mother daughter threesome doesn’t do it …

Why don’t you come sit with us?
I’m still thinking of something to post.
What’s that “Dear Tyra”?  I want to see that one.  Post that one.
But I don’t have anything to say to her yet.

In Amy Sedaris’ book, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence, she mentions that at her dinner party, she assembles a table of items in her house that she no longer wants, and sells them to her guests for a quarter a piece. She always sells out.
I thought that was pretty clever, as I often seem to have a bunch of shit that I don’t want anymore, like Janie’s Xena clock and Janie’s cats. What I lack are people that will purchase these things from me. No …

There’s a line in the movie Money Pit that illustrates my feelings on homeownership:
“Here lies Walter Fielding. He bought a house, and it killed him.”
In early 2006 we scrounged up our dollars and began searching for a place to buy. We’d been living in a rental house and Janie was tired of my habit of spending money on fixing up a place that didn’t belong to us. We spent months searching every night after work, pouring over online profiles of houses we could afford. It didn’t take …

I have this recurring nightmare. I’m in an elevator alone when, suddenly and without explanation, it begins to plummet at a high rate of speed. So fast, in fact, that I must have ridden it to the 1000th floor because it just keeps dropping further and further. I stand in the elevator and I think about how inconvenient it i s going to be to die this way.
In some dreams the elevator suddenly jerks to the side and take a terrifying tumble to nowhere at all. …