When I was in high school, I shattered my nose while playing soccer. I played goalkeeper and when I dove forward for a ball, my opponent tried to run right through me and my face collided with her knee. I came to several moments later and looked down at my hands. My gloves were covered in blood and I realized that something significant had happened to me. I was sure she’d kicked my nose right off my face and I frantically searched the ground for it, …

Oh man, I am lazy.  I haven’t left the house in days.
How could I possibly have anything to say when all I’ve done is eat pie and continue to watch the America’s Next Top Model marathon?  I should have more to say tomorrow when the pie is all gone and the marathon is over.

We hosted what I believe to have been a successful Thanksgiving dinner last night. We had good food, good company and good conversation. The last guests departed shortly after midnight and Janie and I fell into bed and crashed pretty hard. I spent all of today in my pajamas, watching an America’s Next Top Model Marathon and eating left overs. Later I watched half of season 4 of the L Word and waited for Janie to come home from work.
I made her up a plate of …

My friend Robin-O said she’d come to Thanksgiving dinner as long as there would be no hand-holding and no intimate moments of going around the table to express thanks. In return, she’s promised not to bring cocaine or make out with anyone in my family. I appreciate her making these concessions and to help keep up my part of the bargain, I’ll post my thanks here.
I’m grateful that I make my own lunches. My dad used to make mine long ago and I’d often find myself staring …

Hello.
This is uncouth’s wife, known on this site as Janie or The Girl Who Doesn’t Bring Her Wife Take-out. That’s a lie, by the way. I brought her take-out just the other day, and do you know what? She didn’t eat it. Not a single bite. My lady does not like leftovers, so if I bring her take-out after she’s already eaten, forget it. I end up bringing it to work for my lunch the next day. So when she complains to you about this, Internet people, you tell …