Camp Malibu

Years ago, while living out my high school life as a closeted homosexual pervert, my mother decided I needed to go to a Christian summer camp and sleep in a cabin full of girls.

We sang some Christian songs each night and spent our days in the sun swimming and tanning and sometimes talking about our relationship with the Lord. I didn’t tell anyone about how, during my sixth grade religion class, I learned what a homosexual was and, for the first of many times, thought I might be one.

Camp wasn’t all bad. We spent most of the time lounging about a remote part of Canada in the sun, away from our parents. We had theme dinners. I don’t know who the guys in this picture are, but the woman in the middle was our counselor and the girl between us is named Lisa. Lisa was the object of my friend Dave’s affection. Once, I asked Dave out to a dance and he said yes. He called me back not even five minutes later and said, actually, no. He was going to ask Lisa instead.

My favorite thing about the camp was that every morning and every evening they played Closer to Fine by the Indigo Girls. It brings me a certain tiny bit of joy knowing my high school Christian summer camp’s theme song was a popular lesbian anthem.



  1. Robin O
    November 9, 2007

    It would seem the one on the far left end knows you’re up to something. You’re getting seriously checked out. Surreptitiously monitored, even.

    These childhood pictures of you and Janie are so cute it’s practically killing me.

    But hey, what’s up with all the bandannas around the necks? Was neck exposure frowned upon?

    Does the Baby Jesus object to exposed neck flesh? I think he must. That and failure to wear a MINIMUM of 2 shirts. Hopefully a jacket over that as well. Or, even sometimes just . . . a blanket? ?? (Toss on a bedspread before you leave the house, honey!) If that’s an attempt at a Native American look, I really don’t think it’s working for her. In terms of attractiveness or believability. 🙂

  2. November 9, 2007

    I also spent eight summers at a christian summer camp sleeping in an all-girl cabin. Yummy!

  3. heathen
    November 9, 2007

    I like to think my neck bandanna was to hid the scar from when I was shot in a duel with the Baby Jesus. I can’t speak for the blankets on those “Native Americans.” This whole cowboys and Indians theme just seems quite un-Christian to me, with the stereotyping and the whatnot.

    Also, I don’t think I could survive 8 SUMMERS worth of Christian camp. I barely survived 8 years of Catholic school.

  4. November 9, 2007

    I adore your sense of humor. The first paragraph is amazing. I choked on my Starbucks.

  5. heathen
    November 9, 2007

    thank you, Laura. 🙂

  6. Crystal
    November 12, 2007

    OMG that pic is hilarious, and so reminds me of my high school years, we so could have co-miserated, and to think we were at the same school…lol. Totally recognize the other peeps 🙂

  7. heathen
    November 13, 2007

    Haha, I know, right? It’s funny to see, years later, who you might have had more in common with than the people you actually spent most of your time with.

  8. November 19, 2007

    […] didn’t much care for political correctness in New Jersey back in 1977. Is this practice of dressing children up as Indians still a popular among elementary school teachers and camp counselors […]

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