Live from the Curly Redwood Lodge, where we be chillin’ and shit

Good morning! It’s 7am and I’m wide awake for no good reason!

Here is a breakdown of day one:

Miles: 501
Tanks of gas: 1.5
Hours from start to finish: 10.5
Sites visited along the way: Shari’s Restaurant, Lacey, WA. DELICIOUS stuffed hash browns.
State license plates seen: 18 (VA, ID, OR, IA, CA, OK, IN, ME, FL, HI, TX, WI, GA, KS, TN, NW, PA, IL)
Canadian license plates seen: 3 (BC, ONT, ALB)
Number of times someone has asked if we’re sisters: 2

We’re at the Curly Redwood Lodge in Crescent City, California. The wood used to make this lodge all came from one tree! The wood paneling and doors are quite beautiful – but I can’t show them to you because someone forgot the computer cord for the camera. Today we’re turning right back around to drive home to get it.

Our drive here wasn’t incredibly eventful. We passed by the capitol building in Olympia, WA where Janie was too slow to unpack the camera for a photo. We crossed the Columbia River to Portland, OR where Janie missed the ‘Welcome to Oregon” sign and then told me I was being inflexible when I was upset about it. I didn’t tell her that she was being ridiculous and a bad documenter, but I did think it. After that we passed farm after farm, where machinery blew up clouds of dust so high that it looked like the field was on fire. We saw a large boat on the side of the road that actually was on fire, and the owner was frantically flagging down truckers to help with their fire extinguishers. We stopped for gas shortly after, where we had to have it pumped for us because Oregon doesn’t trust people with a gas pump. The creepiest part of our drive was cutting over to US 199 from I-5 where there seemed to be little civilization for the next 100 miles other than a few small houses and an old gas station where I stopped to pee.

Before we find our way to San Jose, we’ll take some time to walk around the Redwood Forest and check out some local scenery. My feet are healing nicely after the 3-Day and I’m able to do a little more walking than just hobbling around like that guy from Misery, so it looks like we’ll be able to take a short hike. If you’d asked me about that two days ago I’d show you my blisters and puffy, red aching feet. And then I’d look you in the eye and say, “HA!” before punching you in the face.

I’ll be taking plenty of pictures (that no one will ever see), especially of the redwoods, of which we saw a handful on our drive in here. Those fuckers are huge. While Janie said they were so pretty and old and large that they surely deserved more respect than being called “fuckers,” we struggle to find a better way to talk about them and their enormity. It is quite amazing. My dad told me that the smell of redwoods makes him sick, which I find fascinating. I wonder, as I sit here at 730am with a stomach that feels like it’s being wrung out like a wash cloth, if it is because of these trees, in which case I can think of nothing better to call them than fuckers. Asshole motherfuckers.

This evening we’ll be shacking up at Janie’s aunt’s house. I’ve not yet met any of Janie’s mom’s family, so this is exciting. Also, her aunt had a baby this last Thanksgiving and I loves me some babies. Maybe we’ll pack him up and take him home.

Well, that’s about all the updates I have for day one. Day two will begin shortly, as soon as I can get my lovely wife out of that bed and into our rental car (a sporty Toyota Rav4).


  1. September 12, 2007

    Heaven forbid we stop by one of the thousands of Targets we’ve passed on the way down here and buy a new usb cord for your precious pictures. Just a thought.

    My question is: Are you supposed to tip the gas attendants in OR? I don’t know the protocol, although when I tipped the guy yesterday he didn’t looked surprised or anything.

  2. Robin O
    September 14, 2007

    Funny funny.

    And I vote for a new cord too. Pictures! I WANT PICTURES!

    I have to giggle a little at establishments that are inordinately proud about the material with which their building was built. I don’t mean to suggest that the curly redwoodiness isn’t nice and all, probably it is. But just when they’re so very proud as like, THE MAIN EVENT, you know? Not as much what products or services they offer, or what activities might take place within the building. It’s what the walls are made of, see, now THAT’S the deal! Other than perhaps something that’s super “eco-friendly,” the idea of someone getting that worked up about logs seems better suited to a long ago era. Like, I’d half expect someone in a bonnet and hoop skirt to amble by any second.

    It also almost makes me want to build something out of another non-traditional material. Like . . . Marshmallow Peeps. And then shriek, “Hey, Everyone! This (whatever) is made entirely out of Marshmallow Peeps! Come on DOWN!” And, then some people would come on down. Eventually they’d say, “But what do you DO in here?” I’d just shrug and say, “Oh . . . I dunno. Whatever.”

    Come to think of it, that probably already happened as an art installation someplace.

    Those trees, they are big. Those feet, they sound bad (note the decided lack of questioning there). That Rav4, it does sound so sporty.

    OK, I think I should stop typing now. Happy Travels!

  3. LizzieLou
    September 15, 2007

    When I first started reading I thought you were writing about your 3-Day. I thought, “Wow! 501 miles in one day! Is that possible? No wonder her feet are fucked up.” And then I thought: “…tanks of gas? how did she remember that whole list of license plates while walking? does she and her heterosexual walking life partner look alike?”

    Ok, so it took me a minute and I should have read your earlier post first.

    Hope you’re having a nice time. I’m going to go refinish the basement in Peeps.

  4. September 16, 2007

    For anyone who is concerned: We bought a camera usb cord. Hallelujah. Now I can sleep better.

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