U DON’T LIKE PDA’S!

I recently acquired a Palm Trio from my sister. She decided it was too cumbersome and I swooped right in and asked if she’d mind if I used it. I spent hours one night a few weeks back entering contact information and adding dates to the calendar.

When we went to my sister’s to pick up the device in exchange for pictures of my great-aunt and a mandolin slicer (fair trade, I’d say), Janie expressed her indignation. “You hate PDA’s! You said you’d never allow a PDA in your house! You forbid me to get one!” It is true that she once expressed interest in getting a Blackberry years prior and I poo-pooed her. I’d been hurt before, I explained. I didn’t want to get hurt again. I did not forbid her to get one. If I knew how to forbid her from doing anything I’d start with forbidding her to take the last one of something we have in the house. The last Coke Zero. The last fruit leather. The last bit of water from the filter. The last piece of toilet paper. The last of my dignity.

My disapproval of PDAs began years ago when I worked for a small IT company as an Executive Assistant. Part of my job was updating the President’s PDA with the hundreds of contacts she would make on her frequent trips to the east coast. I’d spend hours typing in names, numbers and other vitals for hours. The only thing I hated more than that PDA was Nextel Customer service. Who repeatedly puts customers on hold for over an hour? Nextel, those asshole motherfuckers, do.

It has been six years and my feelings towards the PDA genre have cooled. I’ve distanced myself from the experience and thought it was time to engage in a little light experimentation. This opportunity presented itself with requiring little investment from me. It was free and it was unlocked, needing only my SIM card to transfer service. We set it up and I was surprised to immediately receive a text message…

From: Janie
U DON’T LIKE PDA’S!

She was not taking this new relationship well.

In the days since we got together, PDA and I have had a good time. We have played games, made plans, talked and even held hands. It’s a budding relationship and I see that we could easily go places. Maybe one day we’ll travel together. I’ve promised Janie a PDA of her own. I found a pretty red one and suggested she might consider it for her 30th birthday gift. She said she’d think about it it. I hope she does, because I’ve seen her eying mine and I want her to know: I don’t share.