Janie and I are departing for a wedding in good old Kennewick, Washington. I am not sure which part is most exciting. The 103 degree heat over there or the four hour car ride with my parents, one of which isn’t really speaking to me. The car ride will involve snacks and games played on my new (free!) Palm Trio, so maybe that’ll be slightly more enjoyable than the heat. I do love me some snacks.

Our friend Carrie is watching over the (incredibly rotten) cats while we’re away and we’ve done our best to clean the house up a bit so as not to appear to be the messy adults that we actually are. Of course, Carson has taken it upon herself to use this time to pee on the floor in the office closet. Carson likes to pee. She especially likes to pee in places other than her litter box. Earlier this week she just decided to pee in the hallway. For NO GOOD REASON. It has been difficult to reason with her; to explain that cats love litter boxes and that we’ve been working really hard to make sure it’s scooped as needed so that she can pee in there. She doesn’t appear to be listening. I guess you just can’t reason with an animal who licks it’s own ass.

Carson has also taken residence on the kitchen table, in a box we got from Costco about a month ago. She sleeps in it most of the day and every night. She comes out only to eat, pee on the floor and drink excessive amounts of water so she can pee some more later. I once gave Janie a birthday card with a drawing of a fat cat sitting in a shoe box, folds of fur and fat bulging over the edges. That cat is Carson. She could not possibly fit into that box but, by GOD, she will try.

Leaving home and having someone in your place, with your things, is always a bit of a risk. We have known Carrie long enough, and we know her well enough, to know that nothing she sees here will shock her. If anything she’ll remark at the new items we recently purchased at a party my sister had with someone from Toys in Babeland. My sister is the usual cat sitter, but she’ll be at the wedding as well. She and I have a deal with one another that if we are to perish with our spouses in some freak accident while on vacation, the other will go to their house before anyone else can and rid it of items of a sexual nature. Most people draw up fancy wills, powers of attorney, etc. Not us! Our only valid agreement is the that someone will get the strap-on out before my parents come over.